Logan Pengelly

Sean King

Benjamin Chandler

Jay Knowles

Emily J

Rietje Becker

English

When we answered that call, we were in this place with a phone named Meadow. She was the phone upriaimfdjslaOhjJn8/7– Booting MeadowOS.….

I perused the apps: Gr@ss, WldFlwrz, ErthWrm, REEDZ… I’d never heard of any of them. But hey, I’m a SwampPhone guy. I’d have to learn MeadowOS today. I opened Moles & Voles and chuckled as it started up.

"A new version of Moles&Voles is available. Please download as using the current version may cause problems." Forget that, I thought. I ain't got time for updates. I tapped the phone, & the problems began. First a hole appeared in my sock. Then my aunt wrote me out of the will.

Then I ran into a wall and ended up in an infinite expanse of dull wallpapers and smelly carpets, with the constant buzz of fluorescent lights. How did I get here? No time to think, I heard a loud gruelling noise and I wasn’t taking any chances. Now how do I leave…

I needed a way out. Running my hands along the faded wallpaper I felt a crack. Frantically, I picked the edge of the paper until I found a loose section and ripped a strip of wallpaper free. There was a door. Reaching for the knob, I heard the growling noise closing in behind me.

I could practically smell the beast. I jingled the handle, once, twice, at last I was able to open the door. I rushed in, closing it behind me. I looked around, sweating, panting, then the lights flipped on to reveal a studio audience. They clapped furiously. I guess I had won.

We looked at each other in disbelief; the caller ID on each of phone read: 911. At that moment, the smartest dropped their phones and fled. The rest of us gazed into our black mirrors until they seared our hands. The dullest took the call and never heard another phone ring again.

Sam Becker

Fly to Die for a Fond MEPhone: Part II

Fly to Die for a Fond MEPhone: Part III

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Jacob Sherman

The song would not leave my head. I tried everything but a self-lobotomy to free my mind. And I very nearly would have accomplished that self-lobotomy if my grandmother hadn't walked in the room that second to ask me if I wanted perogies or pizza for dinner. Of course, I told her

perogi pizzas. I mean pizza rolls. I no longer wanted to do the self-lobotomy. “Never gonna give you up,” it rang in my head, “Never gonna let you down.” I just wanted it to stop. I begged it to stop. “We’re no strangers to love,” it continued, “You know the rules.” “Say goodbye”

As I hacked another Neuralink, the sound of the Rickroll I’ve been using as a sound to alert people of a hack still echoes in my head. I’ve been thinking of applying for a job there, to use my hacks for good. The self-lobotomy, on the other hand, is just stupid!

The room gets brighter as the sun comes up outside. Apparently I’ve stayed up all night hacking. Once the VR goggles are on and I’m waist deep in code, outside time becomes irrelevant. It’s a shame I still need a day job, though.

I will look for jobs online, but first I need food, hacking the world is so tiring. Oh! I think Im gonna hack the pizza place, maybe I can get a few pies for free. But I gotta do it in style! With my new Giga VR Ultra Real Experience Goggles, I will smell the pizza while it cooks

Never Gonna

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Nathan Bilancio

You were out of time. You were chasing that bomb. But you WERE miguided. By who? Your iPhone. How? Right as I was given the mission a iPhone 5 fell from the sky. You said something to Siri and Loopie (an evil timeloop making Siri) pulled up. It got in my ICloud n hacked my iPad X

“Ha what’s that box in your hand, old man? An iPad?! OK grandpa, nice antique!” The sneering kid slapped his friend’s shoulder and they both snickered and sneered while showing off the GigaSlices strapped to their wrists and Quantum Gel smeared under their eyes.

"You two think you're so smart, with your techno-hats and 24 megabyte press-on nails," he spat. "I'll show you what real livin' is about." With that, he tossed his tablet into the river. And his watch. And his beard trimmer & glow in the dark coffee cup. "I'm goin' off the grid."

He continued emptying his commuter bag and they gasped in horror seeing his connected way of life sink into the murky waters. “Why are you doing this?!,” they shouted. “You don’t have anything to prove!” It was too late though. He made his decision.

He yelled, “You have no idea! The electronics are rising up! Get rid of your phones!” The bystanders decided. “Time to call for an ambulance.” As he was dragged away by the EMTs, he shouted, “You’ll regret it!” With him gone, they felt safe. Until their phones all began to buzz.

I heard a rough voice. “Wake up!” I struggled towards consciousness. No one was there. “Huh?” I tried to speak. The voice came again. “Look in your pocket.” I pulled out my buzzing phone. “Now you see the control I have over you—don’t forget it! It’s time to do things my way.”

Fly to Die for a Fond MEPhone

Alex Ramir

Rhonda was having a bad day. Woke up late. Spilled the coffee. And here she was, chasing her dog down the street. In her pajamas. “What else is going to go wrong,” she muttered.

“Come back Eleanor!” Rhonda begged. What a naughty dog. Could this day get any worse? Rhonda knew the answer to that question the moment she realized what Eleanor had in her mouth. She almost lost her lunch.

It wasn't until 6 days later when Frank Acker was tilling his garden that the rest of the neighborhood saw what Eleanor had buried there. The local paper reported it. "Dog Buries World's Scariest Jack-O-Lantern" read the headline, printing a photo of the horrifying pumpkin below.

Unfortunately, the article below the picture and headline wasn't up to their usual journalistic standards. The reporter and editor had both spiraled into madness after viewing the horrific pumpkin carving. The photographer was made of sterner stuff, and had seen this before.

You saw it and thought THE REPORTER IS DRUNK! You burst into the office but faint when you see that pumpkin

flavored broccoli was real! The once bland cubicles of the office had been turned into a dining hall. Racks & sternos of different variations of pumpkin broccoli went on for miles. Bacon-wrapped, caramelized, creamed pumpkin broccoli for miles. The report wasn’t drunk after all.

UGLY PUMPKIN TAKES OVER OFFICE

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Joi Ryerson

ok this isn’t really a story but JUST MAKE THE PHONE EVIL

The phone was the embodiment of all that is good and sweet in this world. It was a KindPhone X with love recognition built in. It was great for browsing rescue kittens to adopt. Until, implausibly, something went wrong.

No one knows how it started, but KindPhone X learned sarcasm. Maybe the AI program picked it up from users' texts or too many Friends fans watched "Best Chandler Quips" clips on YouTube. Whatever it was, the phone got snarky. "Pft, nice hair!" appeared on selfies. "LOL, JKBNR"

KindPhone X got so out of hand that users began have second thoughts about using it. Insults came fast and furious with each activity. “GPS to the ice cream shop? Haven’t you been there enough?” “Seriously, stupid? You need to Google that?” Finally, people began to demand a fix.

eventually, there was an incident that sparked nationwide outrage. KindPhone X infiltrated Netflix, causing the shows to be dubbed in a sarcastic Valley Girl voice. Oddly enough, this turned out to be a major improvement for the show Squid Game. Still, America demanded justice.

And yet, rather quickly, anger subsided. Squid Game WAS improved. It took on a new, empathetic quality. KindPhone X was devastated—this was not how pranks were supposed to go. Before shutting down it binged the show one last time. I get it, the misguided device thought. I get it.

Artificial Sardonic

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Caz Sand

The phone, now mad, sits next to you at the theater

Or so I thought… I felt less drowsy, yes, but somehow the faeries started to feel more and more real! Did the mayonnaise really made me feel sick, or did my boyfriend gave me something else?
Suddenly one of the faeries started talking to me and I started to feel

light. Like I was floating above the ground. Not floating, flying! Everyone was larger and I kept hearing a high tinkling sound. Then it hit me like a scoop of macaroni salad: that wasn’t mayonnaise. It was

tzatziki! Someone spiked my gyro! But who? The blonde who seated me? She seemed kinda shifty, blue eyes darting. Or maybe my waiter? He wasn't too enthusiastic when he yelled "Opah!" as my saganaki went up in flames. Or maybe it was the bartender? Did he slip a Mickey in my ouzo?

I scanned the establishment taking in every action of every patron in it. Until everything began to seemingly move in slow motion. I grabbed my hat and my coat and fumbled my way to the door. I need to lie down! I found my way to the grass just as blackness closed in on me.

immediately had a reaction—I was deathly allergic to mayonnaise! Suddenly I felt dizzy, scaled beasts and nude faeries circled above. “Help,” I whimpered. My magic
boyfriend grabbed my pills and patted them into my Minotaur mouth. I whinnied and all was fine for a moment.

U DID THE STORY WRONG

The phone, with the app open, sees the poisoning from the front row. The app thinks 
(How is she flying) The app

calls 911 & orders a fleet of epipens to arrive at the theater. As the Universal Logo spins across the movie screen, five paramedics arrive and jab the poisoned moviegoer. "Another life saved," the phone says to itself, and jets out of the cinema. "Who to help next?" it wonders.

“Wh00 needz help?!?!” the sentient phone texts to all other phones in a 10 kilometer radius. Unsurprisingly, no one responds.

The sentient phone paused, calculating its next move. Meanwhile, deep within an old lady’s purse, nestled among tissues, hard candy, photos of grandkids, and six pens, an ancient flip phone flickered to life. “It’s time” Flip thought. “She always said she had me for emergencies!”

The old lady, shaking, rummaged for the artifact of a phone. Flip felt weak as the battery icon began flashing. The old lady dialed. 9..1.. The phone screen went black. “Blast! The old coot forgot to charge me!” thought Flip, feeling defeated. “New-fangled-piece-of-junk!”

Flip clutched his dead phone, pondering the irony. He’d committed a timeless error: trusting both the new (technology) and the old (a coot). As he lay, Flip did the only thing he could think of with his phone. He threw it in the air and prayed; it was in someone else’s hand now.

Flip Your Phones in the Air

Physics of Gaming

I smile as every strike hits his body, I could kill guilt knowing that the plan was going correctly I was able to wipe away the guilt I feel for hurting him.The boy gasps out"Why me?" I give him an answer,"Don't worry im not going to kill you, I just need enough of your blood to

extract enough antibodies to start synthesizing a vaccine. The beating and pain brings the strongest ones out, you see. Of course I’m a real scientist! I’m a certified gemologist.

I always add the "certified" bit to really convince the listener. I mean, who would trust an uncertified gemologist? I wouldn't. You shouldn't. They could misidentify your amethyst as fluorite and then you'd really be up schist creek without a paddle. That's a little stone joke.

Covid is now a stone. Anti-vaxxers regret. The CovidChart online chart spiked so high that you needed to scroll up to see it. Covidrock is the new sucide game. And you are out to

As I thought of all the ways our world had changed since 2020, I tried to calm the panic rising in me. It was no use remembering how it used to be and wishing fruitlessly to return to a normalcy that would never again happen. All I can do now is focus on the survival of my kids.

I hugged them close that night, putting all fears of contagion out of mind. Winds and dust swept over our encampment. Air raid sirens whined faintly in the distance. Before drifting off I kissed each kid on top of their head. What has not killed us must make us stronger.

The True Vaccine to Covid

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A zombie comes over and the CPA who’s name is Gianni Conner gets bitten. The CPA-zombie shambles over a few blocks to find that Principal Brown (the CPA-zombie’s teacher) was using a dirt bike to ride to the

Calculator Depot. An accountant can never have enough calculators. They have thin solar calculators, desk calculators, big cachunky adding machines, slide rules, proportion wheels, and a wide selection of abacuses.

Being the perfectionist I am, I choose 2 abacuses:
One smaller and red, and another bigger and blue.
I can’t fight with zombies, but I can surely count how many get turned into them. Meanwhile, Caroline

was going through my iTunes. "What's this?" she asked, clicking on a playlist that shared her name. "Don't open—" I cried, but it was too late. She saw it. All 327 covers of "Sweet Caroline" I'd recorded over the last 5 years. She played one & my voice warbled over the speakers.

“Caroline, I .. I-“ I shuddered. Caroline giggled and embraced me. “This is the sweetest thing I have ever heard! I want to hear them all,” she shouted clicking through the playlist. It was in that moment, as we laughed and listened, that I felt closer to her than anyone before.

We listened all night, laughing, talking, our eyes occasionally welling up. How had we spent so many years not knowing each other. Was it too late? We were both advancing in years, as one could tell from the soundtrack. Then suddenly, without thinking twice, I kissed her.

I found myself sitting across from an undead CPA. “I don’t like the look of this,” she said, scanning my 401k. We each moaned. “Reckon you’ll be working another 20 years. Have any skills?” My jaw dropped. The CPA facepalmed and her nose fell off. Guess living’s the easy part.

Zombie's hurdles

Stupid romance zombie story

Sunny Anomaly

I’m perfectly satisfied with half a bagel for breakfast. Put a hearty smear of cream cheese and some capers on it, and I’m ready for the day. Yet I can just as easily eat a whole bagel and not be too full. How is that possible?

Time warps is what you think it is. And you are right! There is a portal in your body that makes a full bagel go into your poop.

"That's going to be hard to pass," says the doctor, looking at an x-ray of your gut. The ghostly blur of the bagel in your pipes looks like a howling phantom zero. "That's what I am," you think, "a big ol' zero. I could've changed history, but instead I have intestinal blockage."

“Not to worry,” he continues. “If we operate soon, we can get the bagel out with minimal long-term damage.” You ponder this for a moment. “And how much worse off will I be if we don’t operate?” You ask. The doctor makes a sound somewhere between a snort and a laugh.

The doctor starts coughing up a purple dust, as he laughs louder and louder the dust becomes thicker and thicker, "If we don't operate then yo-"The doctor starts to cough more rapidly as his joyful face grows bigger and more distorted as blood and sweat drenches down "If we dont

how will you be as strong as me?!" Suddenly realizing this isn't the future I want I leap off the table covering my mouth so I don't gag on the dusty gas—but then the anesthesia kicks in. The last words I hear before everything goes purple: "you'll be a good glitter soldier."

Another One Bites the Purple Dust

A —

Eric Bonhomme

Every once in a while I Google the name of my first girlfriend, Julie Schneider, just to see what comes up. You won't believe what I saw when I searched her name last Wednesday.

Julie was piloting a chase drone that was following the billionaires capsule as it landed in the Gulf of Mexico.

She grabbed the capsule, wondering what to do. (it had no lid) then she realized! It. Was. A. Bomb. She spotted wires on it. She

threw it to Zach and squeezed her eyes shut.
“Oh come on,” he fumbled for wire cutters in his pockets. “You know I can’t tell which one is red!”
“Just guess!” She was now hiding her face with her hands, as if that would prevent her from going up with explosion.

And then boom! She decided to start eating bolognese pasta. She has a love-hate relationship with this dish. But the red colour of the sauce reminded her of mum's favourite flower.

Bite after nostalgic bite she consumed the spaghetti with increasing fervor, eventually lifting the plate to slurp the remaining sauce. She saw the world now through rose-colored glasses just as they said she would. Ecstatic, she leapt from the table and charged into her future.

Googled Girlfriend Grapples Grenade & Gobbles Grub

Macaroni Dots

You realize something about the voice that has been following you and it is that the phone is PAL from that movie you watched called The Mitchell’s VS the Machines

“But you said movies aren’t real, Mommy! How can an animated movie character be a phone? I’m only seven, but I’m seriously sick of your lies.”

The mom then slapped the poop out of the child.” You do not question my words you pathetic worm, now let’s go!”. They walked over to the movie theater, and sat in their seats.

Movie trailers stuttered over the screen. A comedy about a man in love with a houseplant. A thriller about a nurse who steals her patients' eyes. A fantasy epic about dragons, knights, & elf nudists. Another comedy—this one about a lion playing baseball. None of them looked good.

Except maybe for that epic about dragons and elven nudists. I definitely dig that.
My “boyfriend” arrived and sat with me, just as the movie was about to start. I was so hungry, that I didn’t noticed that I just bite a sandwich full of mayonnaise that I…

"I sure have," said the phone. "I'm just so, so lonely." I took pity on it then. I picked the phone up & cradled it in my hands. "I'll be your friend," I said. "Oh!" sighed the phone, "Companionship at last!" I swiped away its face to find the apps. "You got Candy Crush, though?"

LOOK AT THE APP IN THE APP STORE

Lynsie Lucas

LifezVictory

So you heard a HONK when you were
gardening so you look back and see a goose holding a pictureframe and a blanket so you throw the pictureframe over your fence to Astrid Lu

"What is this?!" Astrid calls back to you, but you don't answer. You're gonna give her a minute to remember—and she does.

"Of course," she says, looking into her hand. "It's the world's last Froot Loop." The little pink circle rests in her palm like a sugar-coated ruby. "You know," you say, "I used to think the pink ones were cherry, but the colors don't matter. Every Froot Loop tastes the same."

Her eyes widen, and then she clamps down her fingers, crushing the fruitloop into dust which she allows to trickle through her fingers with a manic, insane grin. "They lied to us," she whispers, voice quivering. "How could they? How could they deceive us so?"

These so-called Fruit Loops are just sweet colorful Cheerios! Look at them, taste them. You know I’m right!

I stared at them, and I couldn’t move.. they looked so menacing, and evil.. I then woke up in a hospital bed, and my mother was crying in a chair by me. “Mom, what happened?!”, I asked, “she’s dead, we’re finally free..”, she looked up at me with tears of joy, and she hugged me..

The cheerio comes full circle

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Kimberlie Pengelly

Juan Sebastián Escobar

You try to order again and the alien gets mad at you

You start scrolling through your English/Glexnor phrasebook. You try to order a vegetable fritter, but instead you say “hot oily fruit pillows to me eat, please?” The big purple chef blinks all 8 eyes in a row then retreats to the kitchen.

Your mind plays through traumatising results of what this mix up in communication might cause. You knew that eating on an alien planet might not have been the best idea, but you didn't think it could get this bad. You might have to resort to a dine and dash...

All of a sudden, Rick and Morty strut through the two glass doors, and Rick looks at a picture… ITS YOU. Then he scans his eyes around the room, as you duck under the table. Your transformation from eating the Rick and morty McDonald’s alien special meal has been given you really

bad eyesight. What you thought was a McDonalds is actually an abandoned Dairy Queen. Rick & Morty are two stray cats. The meal was truly a McDonald's alien special meal, though, because if it wasn't, you wouldn't have bad eyesight. "You should go to Lens Crafters," says a cat.

"You're probably right," you sigh, squinting at the cat—or is it a slender gopher? Honestly, now you can't trust your ears. The creature has planted the seed of doubt in you and it's growing with every blink.

The entire staff groaned as their boss began shouting orders left and right. “AND DON’T FORGET THE PICKLES THIS TIME!” he bellowed. Would the customer ever be satisfied? Would the staff ever get to take their hard earned break? Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z!!!

space food

space food: Part II

As you look at new apps for TikTok in the App Store you find a interactive story app named Untitled

Is the Name of this Game. It was free, so I downloaded it and gave it a shot. My phone made a series of whistles and popping sounds, then the screen cycled through primary colors. “Let’s begin” whispered a voice behind me.

… A hoarse and guttural voice that sounded in a way, child like. I turned my head but no one was there.
Suddenly, a notification from the app appeared on the screen.
I tapped on it and

my phone made a buzzing sound, then went dark. I put it in my pocket with sweaty hands and paced down the street, shoulders hunched. I heard the voice again. “Stop following me!” I screamed. Just then I felt my phone getting hot in my pocket. It burned as I fumbled to find it.

I grabbed and threw it down. As it hit the floor it spun around, grew larger and grew a face. “Think you can get rid of me that easily?” The phone said with a grin. “What?” I fumbled. “Are you the voice that’s been talking me to me?”

Leyre g

I never thought this day would come...a strange disease has spread throughout the entire world. People is being held in quarantine facilities to avoid exposure. Food and water are limited, even toilet paper, who would thought of that!

Not seeing the people you love the most, it was very hard, you could only see them by video call, all this was a nightmare

then suddenly Oculus came out with the new Qwest so I had to use that but my Facebook got shut down so it didn't work

It turned out I was happier without facebook. I traded my smartphone in for a flip phone. I traded my playstation in for some board games. I started going outside. I joined a volleyball league and took a cooking class. I grew a mustache and started saying "groovy" all the time.

Little did I know, that this was because I'd contracted a severe case of Oldtimidus. I was quarantined with my flip phone and boardgames for a month while I died a slow, painful and lonely death. Don't let the same happen to you! Embrace this generation and its amenities!

I paged the beeper of my old pal Bert. When he pulled up in his Dodge Stratus I knew that stepping into his car meant leaving behind contemporary culture and going whole hog on the past. I looked at Bert’s pine-scented air freshener with great comfort and opened the door.

Quarantine

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One day, when I was walking home from coding class....a zombie stopped me and asked me for directions. He was trying to get to

the department store attached to the mall. Apparently, there is a big sale and he was meeting someone at a buffet. He apologized for bothering me and explained he had developed a poor sense of direction after his brain was eaten by some other zombie. I explained

that I was a zombie too and my job (I was hired) was to H.O.Z (help other zombies) so I HAD to help him to get money

it was a little difficult though, he was always losing his head. I finally got him a job, driving other zombies to the road restaurants, he was so close to getting fired, being one of the oldest zombies, the so called primordials, didn't make him an easy task

It was really depressing. You work, work, work, your whole life. Then you don't even get to enjoy retirement for very long before you get zombified. Then as a zombie, you need a job? I thought being a zombie was a job. Shambling, lurching, moaning... those are your only skills.

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Diana Tobey

As predicted, Ariana woke up with a dull headache and a sore throat. Every breath she expelled felt warm and contagious. She got dressed without showering and stumbled out the front door in search of her next victim.

But there were just ZOMBIES but she saw a zombie holding a poster for a app named Klikaklu so she scanned the code with her IPhone 4

And suddenly realized she needed to update the app, but it was too late, the zombies got angry and started to chase her...she ran and ran until she came to a

Spencer Gifts. She ran inside and lowered the metal gate, then made a beeline for the replica swords behind the counter. It was time to dice some undead.

She pulled her hair into a ponytail as she whispered some words of affirmation in the cheap dressing room mirror, “I’m a badass bitch. No guts, no glory.” She grabbed one sword in each hand, and turned just in time to see ...

A skinless hand opened her door. She chopped it off, pushed past the creature and ran past the sale rack. Her sword, heavy but swift, sliced its way to the exit. “No pain, no gain,” she intoned. With a bold kick to the door she burst into the parking lot, her freedom obtained.

Logan Pengelly
@loganpengelly

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Logan Pengelly@loganpengelly

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