Chicken Pot Why?: Return of the Phone Story Idiot

Your head keeps aching, you’re 28 and an estranged lover who has had his drinks spiked and has been stabbed with EpiPens (both times at the movie theater!), personally attacked by your phone, a- Wait! Wait! No, no, no! You’re a writer who writes dumb phone stories on the internet

He chuckled, and pressed Send. “Let’s see them try to make sense of that!”, he said to himself. But he was not alone. A crow was sitting on his windowsill, and answered back “No sense! Nonsense!” He jumped out of his chair and tried to shoo the black bird away, but

it would not budge. "You can't get rid of me," the crow said. "I'm your conscience." "And I," said another voice at the door, "am your optimism." A penguin entered. "Is my personality made of only birds?" the man asked. "Yes," said the crow, "here comes your humor!" At the window

a chicken walked in, some of its feathers missing, head cocked to the side, and said, "you guys are gonna love this." The penguin and crow looked up, exasperated. "What?!" they asked in unison. Just then, two huge, steaming chicken pot pies hit them both in the face.