Googled Girlfriend Grapples Grenade & Gobbles Grub

The One That Got Away

1 September 2021

  • Every once in a while I Google the name of my first girlfriend, Julie Schneider, just to see what comes up. You won't believe what I saw when I searched her name last Wednesday.
    Benjamin C
    8/16 4:23am
  • Julie was piloting a chase drone that was following the billionaires capsule as it landed in the Gulf of Mexico.
    Sean K
    8/17 4:13am
    Inactive OMG icon1
    @benjaminchandler
  • She grabbed the capsule, wondering what to do. (it had no lid) then she realized! It. Was. A. Bomb. She spotted wires on it. She
    Logan P8/20 2:22am
    Inactive SCREAM icon1
    @benjaminchandler
  • threw it to Zach and squeezed her eyes shut. “Oh come on,” he fumbled for wire cutters in his pockets. “You know I can’t tell which one is red!” “Just guess!” She was now hiding her face with her hands, as if that would prevent her from going up with explosion.
    A —8/21 6:15am
    Inactive BOMB icon1
    @benjaminchandler
  • And then boom! She decided to start eating bolognese pasta. She has a love-hate relationship with this dish. But the red colour of the sauce reminded her of mum's favourite flower.
    Eric B8/28 4:17am
    Inactive HEART icon1
    @sambecker
    Inactive BOMB icon1
    @sambecker
    Inactive LAUGH icon1
    @benjaminchandler
  • Bite after nostalgic bite she consumed the spaghetti with increasing fervor, eventually lifting the plate to slurp the remaining sauce. She saw the world now through rose-colored glasses just as they said she would. Ecstatic, she leapt from the table and charged into her future.
    Sam B
    8/31 10:47pm
    Inactive WREATH icon1
    @benjaminchandler

The End