Artificial Sardonic

ok this isn’t really a story but JUST MAKE THE PHONE EVIL

The phone was the embodiment of all that is good and sweet in this world. It was a KindPhone X with love recognition built in. It was great for browsing rescue kittens to adopt. Until, implausibly, something went wrong.

No one knows how it started, but KindPhone X learned sarcasm. Maybe the AI program picked it up from users' texts or too many Friends fans watched "Best Chandler Quips" clips on YouTube. Whatever it was, the phone got snarky. "Pft, nice hair!" appeared on selfies. "LOL, JKBNR"

KindPhone X got so out of hand that users began have second thoughts about using it. Insults came fast and furious with each activity. “GPS to the ice cream shop? Haven’t you been there enough?” “Seriously, stupid? You need to Google that?” Finally, people began to demand a fix.

eventually, there was an incident that sparked nationwide outrage. KindPhone X infiltrated Netflix, causing the shows to be dubbed in a sarcastic Valley Girl voice. Oddly enough, this turned out to be a major improvement for the show Squid Game. Still, America demanded justice.

And yet, rather quickly, anger subsided. Squid Game WAS improved. It took on a new, empathetic quality. KindPhone X was devastated—this was not how pranks were supposed to go. Before shutting down it binged the show one last time. I get it, the misguided device thought. I get it.