Cheesy Weezy

9 out of 10 professors said this was the worst theists they have ever read, and not to go to the 10th professor’s class.

9 February 2024

  • Reid walked through the doors of the official Coachella Tragedy Memorial. As she snuck into the restaurant, getting past the workers, she felt no remorse. Instead, she programmed the speakers to play the music that, 7 years ago, hijacked some people’s heads. This piece? It made
    Logan P avatarLogan P2/3 11:19pm
  • 93% of adults who hear it experience synesthesia. Some people suddenly heard colors, some tasted emotions, some saw music. Everyone who experienced it was confused, and the remaining 7% were confused by the behavior around them.
    Sean K avatarSean K2/4 12:15am
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  • The remaining 0% did not exist. They were a figment of the mathematician's imagination. She calculated things that were not. Reader, are you aware of how much is not in the world? How many pink crows? How many people with eyes on their feet? None, but she kept thinking of them.
    Benjamin C avatarBenjamin C2/4 7:37am
  • The more she thought, the more pink crows appeared. Soon they were all at her feet, gazing up at her with their piercing eyes. How can an animal look so knowing, so manipulative. "What do you want!" she screamed to break the unbearable silence.
    Sam B avatarSam B2/5 6:17am
  • Why were they pink anyway, not blue crows? And as she thought it, one of the pink crows turned blue. It surprised her, but also reminded her that she was the one in control. So she concentrated on making the crows into something more useful, something that could fix this mess.
    Esseta O2/6 4:30pm
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  • Of course, what happens next? That’s right, after all these ridiculous pilot twists, what do the crows turn into? Weezer. “Shucks.” Homer Simpson said as he fell through the roof, rearranging the museum-goers brains in a different way, by killing them. It ended with a… Weeze.
    Logan P avatarLogan P2/9 2:17am

The End