Another One Bites the Purple Dust

A Journey Into the Bagel Hole of the Subconscious

5 September 2021

  • I’m perfectly satisfied with half a bagel for breakfast. Put a hearty smear of cream cheese and some capers on it, and I’m ready for the day. Yet I can just as easily eat a whole bagel and not be too full. How is that possible?
    Sean K
    7/11 2:27pm
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    @sunnyanomaly
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    @sambecker
  • Time warps is what you think it is. And you are right! There is a portal in your body that makes a full bagel go into your poop.
    Logan P7/11 3:42pm
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    @sambecker
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    @sunnyanomaly
  • "That's going to be hard to pass," says the doctor, looking at an x-ray of your gut. The ghostly blur of the bagel in your pipes looks like a howling phantom zero. "That's what I am," you think, "a big ol' zero. I could've changed history, but instead I have intestinal blockage."
    Benjamin C
    7/30 8:16am
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    @seanking
    @sambecker
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    @seanking
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    @sambecker
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    @sunnyanomaly
  • “Not to worry,” he continues. “If we operate soon, we can get the bagel out with minimal long-term damage.” You ponder this for a moment. “And how much worse off will I be if we don’t operate?” You ask. The doctor makes a sound somewhere between a snort and a laugh.
    Sunny A
    8/17 6:00pm
  • The doctor starts coughing up a purple dust, as he laughs louder and louder the dust becomes thicker and thicker, "If we don't operate then yo-"The doctor starts to cough more rapidly as his joyful face grows bigger and more distorted as blood and sweat drenches down "If we dont
    Physics O
    8/20 7:41am
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    @sambecker
  • how will you be as strong as me?!" Suddenly realizing this isn't the future I want I leap off the table covering my mouth so I don't gag on the dusty gas—but then the anesthesia kicks in. The last words I hear before everything goes purple: "you'll be a good glitter soldier."
    Sam B
    9/5 7:43pm
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    @sunnyanomaly

The End