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Jay Knowles
@thewordplayer

Bio

I would greatly appreciate it if you would please pretend I proposed, proffered and presented a proverb so pretty, precise and profound that it has probably been proven worthy of precious praise in its previous place, politely, no pressure.

Lifetime
Lines

153

Awards
Earned

18

Member
Since

'22

Awards

Jay's Stories

Advanced Vices and Dices
He grabbed the dices, shook them and threw them on the carpet. He looked at me, smiled and pointed at the first die he looked at. It ...
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Big Stinky Infodump
The castle was extremely damp. Human feces could be smelled everywhere. A rat scurried away as a feminine shadow approached a wooden ...
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The Art of the Bald Head
A long time ago, In a land called Kentucky, There once lived a man, Who wasn't very lucky, And one day he fell, Right into a well, And ...
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Poltergarf
Her eyes were about to close out of tiredness. She sat deep in her armchair, watching a show from a small television. The trailer around ...
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Muddy Feet Cute Meet
“Mudfoot, Ogre Extraordinaire” read the business card. I raised one eyebrow, and opened my mouth to speak. But I couldn’t phrase the ...
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Nerfs Up
Once upon a time (which was actually 2 weeks ago) I had woken up to the sound of explosions, and I look out the windows to see someone ...
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Weed Better Run
The 20th of April had come at long last, I looked at my joint and I gave it a blast, I travelled so high in the sky oh so fast, visions ...
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The Legend of the Prehistoric BFFs
The only animal that could have made made the bite that killed Frank Floss was a saber-toothed tiger.
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A Hot Slice of Heartbreak
Jim ran a hand through his hair, “Bro I’m telling you, there’s just no way any chick can say no to the Jimster”. Eric rolled his eyes ...
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Another Brick in the Wall
The screaming had finally stopped. James crawled to the window and carefully raised himself up from the floor and peeked out the dingy ...
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The Follicle Follies
They sat in a circle, legs crossed and arms outstretched. In the center was a comb, a brush, and a tub of pomade. "We beseech you ...
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What Is It?
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining us today. We know you’re busy, and promise what we are about to share will be worth your ...
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Swimming Through Syrup, Slowly
I swim through the oceans, I swim through the skies. Water and air are not so different, it’s just a matter of density. And of course ...
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Nerdzilla the Preposterous
Matteo stood outside the estate, staring at a green garden hose, wondering how something so banal could be attached to something so ...
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A Surprise to Be Sure
In the middle of the night came a whirring, buzzing noise. I got up and went to investigate the source. Opening the door I saw that ...
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Goldibear, Gretzel, and the Three Little Wolves
There’s a place about a mile or so from here, up the hill through the woods and past the big pond with reeds all around. A little stone ...
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Going Down on the Frig It
The waters were calm yet the clouds heavy in the evening sky. The reverberation of the ship’s engines penetrating. “Norwegian battleship ...
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Who ya gonna call?
There is this presence in the house. I cannot quite put my finger on it, but sometimes I do sense it. The atmosphere just changes drastically ...
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The Unknown Error Blues
On day 43 things started to unravel. The plan had worked perfectly until then, like clockwork. On day 43 we ran out of blue ink. But ...
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The illusion of greatness
They had been on the way to his little league game. Grandad drove his big old Caddy. Joe always loved the crazy big dashboard buttons ...
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The Heirloom Patchwork of the Holy Acorn & its Goulash Orchard
Featured 🌟
Long ago, before television or even radio, your great-great-great grandmother crafted a story into this quilt. See the images? Here's ...
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Rat-A-Loony
There once was a mouse, and he lived in a house, with his daughter, and mother, and spouse. Along came a cat with a belly so fat, and ...
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The Dead Undead
The Vallaynthian limped into harbour. It’s sails torn. It’s deck littered with debris and the rotting corpses of crew. Blood pooled ...
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A bang up job
“What else?” I asked Charlene. “I’ve got the flour, mayo, artichoke hearts, sun dried tomato.” She nodded. “And don’t forget the ...
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Fact No. 4675
Fact No. 4675: In Icelandic culture a Fürdugøl is a mischievous spirit that often manifests in deep woodland during the moon’s waxing ...
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Chèvre Sprite Float
I’ve done it. I’ve secured the last Seasonal Goat Cheese Lover’s collection from the local creamery just in time for Christmas. It’s ...
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The Omega Emma
hi, my name is e-Emma. She said. she was really nervous
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Blood, Batter, and Bangs
The cake was deliciously moist, fluffy, and sweet. In a word: perfect. Reggie hated every single bite. She chased the last bite ...
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The Bored Room
The consultant walked into the boardroom wearing shorts and a sports bra, her legs and arms covered in Pokémon tattoos. The roomful ...
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Coconut Shrimp Helper
Its over. It was all over.
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