Roe vs James

There comes a time in every father's life when he has to answer a certain uncomfortable question from his son. It happened to me today. My boy James & I were playing catch in the backyard. It was the first nice day of spring. "Dad," he asks, "what does caviar taste like?"

“Now son,” I went, “eating caviar is a real spiritual experience, quite possibly the most exquisite feeling in the world. That feeling as each egg pops in your mouth, the taste that comes after… it’s something one must experience in his life.” I threw a curveball at him. “Catch!”

"Daaaaaaa-ad! That's gross! Ungh." I said as I caught the ball. "If I don't like chicken eggs, I'm definitely not eating fish eggs." I threw the ball back at him, attempting to mimic his curveball and not quite succeeding. "Be for real, OK?"

“You like sushi, right?” “Yeah they’re delicious!” “You know sushi got fish eggs on them right?” Dad threw another curveball. “Yuck! I didn’t know they were fish eggs.” The ball smacked him in the face.

The ball literally being a fish egg. His face got deformed by the egg trajectory and force, he couldn't believe the power of a 1cm^2 fish egg could do. Having studied physics in school, this man knew something was off. "Sushi with fish eggs!? WHY!? Sushi is supposed to be fish!"

"Clearly, you don't know sushi," I said. "Roe's a delicacy." "But they're never this heavy," he said, clutching his face. "Not usually," I said, petting my mutant, land-acclimated salmon who purred with delight. "Her eggs are 100x heavier than normal. Pity that you didn't know."