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zeej qooj
@zeejqooj

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Have at you! Yarrhhhh!

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103

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18

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Since

'21

Pinned Line

Line 5 from 'Time Flies'
 
and I laughed at the sound of his scream as he realized that I had replaced his parachute. I watched as he grew smaller and hazier, and regretted only that I wouldn't be able to see the moment of his impact with the earth.
Dawn R @ 2/5 2:36am

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zeej's Stories

Advanced Vices and Dices
He grabbed the dices, shook them and threw them on the carpet. He looked at me, smiled and pointed at the first die he looked at. It ...
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The Art of the Bald Head
A long time ago, In a land called Kentucky, There once lived a man, Who wasn't very lucky, And one day he fell, Right into a well, And ...
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The Legend of the Prehistoric BFFs
The only animal that could have made made the bite that killed Frank Floss was a saber-toothed tiger.
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The Follicle Follies
They sat in a circle, legs crossed and arms outstretched. In the center was a comb, a brush, and a tub of pomade. "We beseech you ...
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Goldibear, Gretzel, and the Three Little Wolves
There’s a place about a mile or so from here, up the hill through the woods and past the big pond with reeds all around. A little stone ...
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Going Down on the Frig It
The waters were calm yet the clouds heavy in the evening sky. The reverberation of the ship’s engines penetrating. “Norwegian battleship ...
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Who ya gonna call?
There is this presence in the house. I cannot quite put my finger on it, but sometimes I do sense it. The atmosphere just changes drastically ...
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A bang up job
“What else?” I asked Charlene. “I’ve got the flour, mayo, artichoke hearts, sun dried tomato.” She nodded. “And don’t forget the ...
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Fact No. 4675
Fact No. 4675: In Icelandic culture a Fürdugøl is a mischievous spirit that often manifests in deep woodland during the moon’s waxing ...
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The Double Universe Walker
Hi all, Sam B here. I’ve overrode ZJ’s account to create a second sequel based on the delightfully quirky first sequel. I’m sure ZeeJ ...
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Ambimetaguity
Later that day, once my hangover had subsided, I looked at my Byline comment: ‘Note to self: contributing to byline after a night in ...
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Adventures in VR
They call me a “hacker”. Look, I’m just a guy with access to the Mainframe and nothing better to do. But all of my skills combined ...
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Avatar: Tommy the Chosen Skywalker
Nothing has been the same since the machines attacked. The five nations now live in darkness and despair, waiting desperately for the ...
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Stone Free
The unhappy little stone sat upon the forest floor. “I feel so irrelevant”, it said sadly. “How dya think I feel?”, said a nearby twig ...
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Unalived
There stood a mighty statue of a man and woman, their hands locked, raised towards the sky, loudly proclaiming their defiance. One ...
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Moovers and Shakers
Spring was in the air, warm breezes were blowing, and the city was bustling with energy. I had to get out of my apartment. I wanted ...
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One more for the collection
"No!” I shouted. “You can’t leave! Not now!” But my cries were barely audible over the roar of the sirens. My vision was blurred by ...
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Leap of Faith
The man walked over to the stage. He recognized the singers as Mary and William Duchance, the local crazy Christian family. Bizarrely ...
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The Abominable Resolution Plan
A distant yet familiar clack sounded through the warm grass-scented morning air. Two squirrels sat together on an extended branch of ...
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Mafia Boss' smoke
The first sunrays push through the curtains. A man sits on a sofa, in an elegant room, albeit a gloomy one. He rolls slowly a glass ...
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Glaze for Days: It Pays
"Thank you for your custom, sir!", she offered cheerily, "Here's your free fart cup". I looked at the small half ounce foam cup she ...
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The Pickiest Pirate
There was a huge raft of debris floating in the center of the lake. Some of it was trash, but a lot of the items look like they’d blown ...
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Role of the Dice
“FACKORFFFF!” - he leant forward stretching his neck, revealing tendons, face red, mouth wide. “FACKORR-GMPHH!” - suddenly his head ...
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meringue man
You woke up and realised that it wasn't your room and it scared you so much that you were paralysed while the fire was burning everything ...
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The Streetwise Amnesiac
How am I here? In this place. My tears are long gone, as too is my mental flipbook of faces, which I can no longer recall. I see an ...
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Escape from a Thousand Worlds
The e-mail only gave a date, time, and location. But the moment I read it, I knew what it for what it was: not just an invitation ...
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plane crash
The plane was crashing. I didn't know what to do.
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Adventures in the Corn Board
I must’ve hacked into this server a million times as the first step in accessing, well, a million other systems. An open port 22 on ...
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Pickle Vapor Love Bazooka
I was prepared. I had a plan. I had practiced several times a day for the past two months. I had all my tools in my pockets, plus snacks ...
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The Valkyrie's Last Drink
"I'll have a Grandma's Uncle Fish." I blinked at the customer. "You got it," I said & turned around to grab a glass. I'd never heard ...
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