Byline
zeej qooj
@zeejqooj
Bio
Have at you! Yarrhhhh!
Lifetime
Lines
123
Awards
Earned
18
Member
Since
'21
Pinned Line
Line 5 from
Time Flies
and I laughed at the sound of his scream as he realized that I had replaced his parachute. I watched as he grew smaller and hazier, and regretted only that I wouldn't be able to see the moment of his impact with the earth.
Dawn R
@
2/5 2:36am
Awards
zeej's Stories
It’s a Hole Thing
He only liked wearing socks when they were full of holes.
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Silver, Gold, and Oxblood Brogues
When she touched the gold earrings, they turned silver.
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Lil Peepers
“Reena, you locked the door, right?” Max whispered as they huddled underneath the table. He watched as she swallowed hard, then turn to look at him. “Reena?” “No,” she whispered, hugging his arm tightly. At that moment, the door flew from its hinges, skidding across the room.
Pretzel Quest PSA
The man risked his life for a bag of pretzels.
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A Bird In The Hand Is Twice Shy
Once upon a time, two siblings were exploring the forests and found something mysterious...
Donut Believe The Hype
Her intuition said no but her curiosity wanted to check it out.
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Equine in Time
I am a horse, almost 15 years old now. A human, previously. I remember how my human life ended yet do not recall my early years as a foal. I think in English though I can only verbalise using whinnies and snorts. This sounds ridiculous, but I have recently discovered that I can
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A song at the end of the tunnel
I was on my way to the shop when I first heard a high, eerie, beautiful sound. At first I thought it was a bird, then an instrument. As the sound developed into a tune, I realized it was a voice. I was frozen in my tracks on the sidewalk. I couldn’t do anything but listen.
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The Killer App
It had taken years of work, over a decade of evenings and weekends and spare hours. His attic studio was littered with failures, attempts, and spare parts. He had finally built it: the hologram zipper! Now he just needed
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The end of the beginning of the end of the beginning
I was a man who had written many stories, but had not a single finished story. A fault that brought me down more than I’d like to admit.
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Not So Black and White
Suddenly, the tower of empty Oreo containers toppled to the ground.
Lost Clown
So It’s about midnight. You’re in bed, lying next to someone who you once loved more than anyone else. But well, I guess we all know that fire is gone. And you’re still lost an alone. Most exciting thing for you, is the 9 to 5 that you truly hate. That just must be sad!
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Unlikely Of Stories
I remember he was here once, I remember a time we'd never bow to TRAITORS I remember a time where those of us who fought the good fight would win and evil would loose but, I remember, was he as good and Heroic as we remember him or were we the true enemies to the el-da-rin people
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Advanced Vices and Dices
He grabbed the dices, shook them and threw them on the carpet. He looked at me, smiled and pointed at the first die he looked at. It had a symbol of a cat on it. "Once upon a time there was this sad, lone lion" he started the story. "Your turn" he said. Which dice should I pick?
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The Art of the Bald Head
A long time ago, In a land called Kentucky, There once lived a man, Who wasn't very lucky, And one day he fell, Right into a well, And his situation was very yucky.
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The Legend of the Prehistoric BFFs
The only animal that could have made made the bite that killed Frank Floss was a saber-toothed tiger.
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The Follicle Follies
They sat in a circle, legs crossed and arms outstretched. In the center was a comb, a brush, and a tub of pomade. "We beseech you, please grant our wishes for glorious body hair. Grant us the mustaches, beards, and back hair we seek. Please, Hairy Fairy, work your magic upon us!"
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Goldibear, Gretzel, and the Three Little Wolves
There’s a place about a mile or so from here, up the hill through the woods and past the big pond with reeds all around. A little stone house, used to be pink but most the paint has peeled away, roof fell through and the garden is more like a jungle these days. Most folk know why
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Going Down on the Frig It
The waters were calm yet the clouds heavy in the evening sky. The reverberation of the ship’s engines penetrating. “Norwegian battleship eight kilometres four degrees north sir! It has a barcode on the hull!”. “Aye Lieutenant, you know why?”. “No sir!”. “So they can Scandinavian”
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Who ya gonna call?
There is this presence in the house. I cannot quite put my finger on it, but sometimes I do sense it. The atmosphere just changes drastically, all of the sudden. If I have visitors, they don't notice it themselves. I'm not sure, should I worry, ignore or do something about it...
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A bang up job
“What else?” I asked Charlene. “I’ve got the flour, mayo, artichoke hearts, sun dried tomato.” She nodded. “And don’t forget the knife sharpener, and the nylon rope.” I hate the holidays.
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Fact No. 4675
Fact No. 4675: In Icelandic culture a Fürdugøl is a mischievous spirit that often manifests in deep woodland during the moon’s waxing phase. It is a strange looking creature, not entirely dissimilar to a large bear but distinguished by its unique ability to
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The Double Universe Walker
Hi all, Sam B here. I’ve overrode ZJ’s account to create a second sequel based on the delightfully quirky first sequel. I’m sure ZeeJ will be cool about this as he’s on his eighth beer right now, so it feels like the perfect opportunity to pick up where he left off. So here we go
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Ambimetaguity
Later that day, once my hangover had subsided, I looked at my Byline comment: ‘Note to self: contributing to byline after a night in the pub is not as fantastic an idea as it seems at the time.’ - feeling ridiculous and delicate in equal measure I made a life-changing decision.….
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Adventures in VR
They call me a “hacker”. Look, I’m just a guy with access to the Mainframe and nothing better to do. But all of my skills combined couldn’t get me out of the situation I got into on March 31, 20XX. I was trapped, and simply logging off wasn’t an option. I didn’t have ANY options.
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Avatar: Tommy the Chosen Skywalker
Nothing has been the same since the machines attacked. The five nations now live in darkness and despair, waiting desperately for the Chosen One to avenge them.
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Stone Free
The unhappy little stone sat upon the forest floor. “I feel so irrelevant”, it said sadly. “How dya think I feel?”, said a nearby twig, “I thought I’d be a branch one day”. The stone looked at the twig, “But you could be a child’s imaginary wand, or give away an escaped convict”.
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Unalived
There stood a mighty statue of a man and woman, their hands locked, raised towards the sky, loudly proclaiming their defiance. One fateful day, the sky turned grey and a streak of lightning struck the statue, and the statue was no more. Its furious roar thundered across the land.
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Moovers and Shakers
Spring was in the air, warm breezes were blowing, and the city was bustling with energy. I had to get out of my apartment. I wanted a drink, a laugh, maybe a chat with a pretty lady. I grabbed my phone, wallet, keys, and a light jacket and hit the streets.
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One more for the collection
"No!” I shouted. “You can’t leave! Not now!” But my cries were barely audible over the roar of the sirens. My vision was blurred by tears. I couldn’t take it. I wanted to run after the ambulance and tell the doctors that he would be okay, but I knew he wouldn't.
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