Byline
Emily J
@emilyj
Lifetime
Lines
78
Awards
Earned
16
Member
Since
'21
Awards
Emily's Stories
The mystery dentist
Mason Howard was a dentist who loved the library. He would always read books and check as many books as possible.
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Zen and the Art of Minion Management
“I’m bored, Igor. What plaything can you offer me today?” The evil doctor asked his minion with undisguised malice.
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Grease Donkey
This is the story of Ricardo a very unusual donkey known widely for doing things other donkeys couldn’t—or at least wouldn’t—do.
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The Mirror Has Two Feces
There are 5 rules to keeping your wife happy, my father told me. Mom always seemed content, so I've come to believe they must be true ...
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Betting on a wish
They say, be careful what you wish for. I really, really wish I had heeded that advice. But it’s too late to try to wish away the mess ...
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Seals From the North Pole
“Ho! Ho! Ho!” Jared let out a big belly Santa laugh and leaned towards the elf standing next to him. “How long is that line now?” Sarah ...
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Click YES to be a Princess
Keisha's mom always left a punny note in her lunch. "Hope your day is GRAPE!" "Have a FLANtastic day!" "You're 1 smart COOKIE!" Keisha ...
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The Mambo
Jenny stopped. She didn’t know what was going to happen next. Either her brother was going to be released from prison and all hell ...
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Escape from a Thousand Worlds
The e-mail only gave a date, time, and location. But the moment I read it, I knew what it for what it was: not just an invitation ...
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Ode to the Beckers
Once upon a time, a writer-in-a-different-life stumbled across a fun little app—a thoroughly enjoyable rabbit hole of collaboration ...
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Furry Boxmas to All
Muffin the tabby liked lots of catty things: string, catnip, napping. But he didn’t like boxes. All the other cats couldn’t get enough ...
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When Hunger Leads to Adventure
Oh it's happening. It's definitely here. You look around outside at what would be your first shop. Fluffy, warm pastries paired best ...
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Noodling
“Try the pasta,” Estelle said, “it’s out of this world.” So I did. And she wasn’t kidding, it really was - that became evident later ...
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Squirrel Nuts Clip Her
An impassable force lied between me and the artifact. Neurograth, the Golem of Gold.
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Mind the Store
“Where am I?” she asked aloud, not expecting an answer. She stood in a cave illuminated only blue green light shimmering on the walls ...
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Trunk Club
Despite the fact that it was a rainy, freezing fall day, Lyla decided to go for a walk. She stopped suddenly at the Delgado's house ...
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Love Stinks
"You like ginger ale, too?" Zuzka asked Binh. "Sprite's too sweet," he answered. Zuzka was a mail order bride & Binh was a mail order ...
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Bobby, Gramps, & the Jalapeño Sheriff
Do not go gentle into that good night. Do not go violent into that bad day. Do not run in the halls. Do not eat toothpaste. Do not ...
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M’omelette for One
You wake up to find yourself shrunken down to one inch tall. You look up and see your mother towering above you. She bends over and ...
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Mr. Ellis And The Flaming Disinfectant Disk
I stared down at the paper I had been handed, incredulous. It read as follows: Dear Mr. Ellis: This notice is to inform you that your ...
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Fly to Die for a Fond MEPhone: Part II
You were out of time. You were chasing that bomb. But you WERE miguided. By who? Your iPhone. How? Right as I was given the mission ...
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Vanishing
Rusty glanced up at the sky. Yep, the spaceship was still there. He lowered his head and trudged down the abandoned road. The spaceship ...
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Ursula goes rogue
The Council of Elders were meeting for the third time in a month. “Is this really necessary?” Ursula the witch asked. The head werewolf ...
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Showdown in Lobster Town
The man with the marble carried his marble wherever he went. In times of stress, or boredom, he would reach into his pocket and swirl ...
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Journey to the Center of Self
Through no fault of my own (those stupid orcs!) I’d somehow ended up in a glittering cavern. At the far end was a fireplace roaring ...
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Not with a bang but with a mew
I was 12 years old when the ants rebelled against humanity. I remember how simple and easy life was, before. TV, internet, grocery ...
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Shrunken
You wake up in your room to find that you have been shrunken down to one inch tall. You jump up and run to the edge of your bed. Booming ...
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The Tidy Ghost in the Dairy Queen
Suzie loves Rob, but Rob has a crush on Lois. Lois isn't interested in Rob; Jessi has caught her eye. Jessi has adored Sam ever since ...
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Moon Clown Town
The deafening roar of a man being launched across a field by a singular punch was familiar, yet shocking.
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UGLY PUMPKIN TAKES OVER OFFICE
Rhonda was having a bad day. Woke up late. Spilled the coffee. And here she was, chasing her dog down the street. In her pajamas. “What ...
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