A day in the life of an insurance salesman

The sun beat down on his scales as he raced across the dunes. Whatever he did, he couldn’t stop. “There!” A voice shouted. Darn. No point in trying to hide now. Shutting his eyes, he lets out a breath, feeling his clawed feet turn to paws. When his eyes open, he’s…

a big fluffy mop dog with a giant wagging tongue. He’d be absolutely adorable if he weren’t the size of a container ship. He can change form but has to retain the same mass.

He trotted toward us, feet the size of above-ground pools, tail swatting entire buildings into abstract art. “Down, boy!” I shouted. With a shimmer, he morphed into a three-story squirrel. Still mop-like. Still too massive for this dimension—and hungry.

And as I gazed into its dark, beady eyes, that bushy-tailed weapon of mass destruction, I knew it felt no sympathy for any of us. Oh, what horror hath I unleashed? "Did you know you could save 15% or more by switching to GEICO?" it spoke in the voice of a large, obnoxious mascot.

“That’s not very Progressive of you.” I turn to my surprise to see Flo. “Im willing to bet the Farm that we can defeat this cosmic horror.” I double take and it’s Jake from State Farm! Hand in hand, they roundhouse kick its head off and maintain peace in the Insurance World.