Love on the Rocs

Antarctica. That’s where I’ll find love?

"Yes," said the fortune teller, thin fingers waving over a crystal ball. "I see parkas, penguins, & passion in your future." I'd paid her $20, so I had no choice but to believe her. I bought a ticket for an Antarctic cruise & wondered which of my co-passengers would be "the one".

Then in the middle of the cruise I saw him. The most gorgeous creature I’d ever laid eyes on. Dapper, cute, good swimmer, charming. There was just one thing: the love of my life was an Emperor penguin.

And I’m a Shark. How can a Hungry Shark and a beautiful emperor penguin can ever be a couple? Maybe if I go with the Arthur Witch, I’ll be able to fulfill my wish. The problem is that the witch won’t give anything for free. Now, I’m outside her cave…

and i have the light of a deep-sea angler fish as payment. I raise my fin and tap on the door of the witch’s cave. It opens on its own. “Come in, I’ve been expecting you Shark.” I push the light out in front of me. “Ahh, it’s a love spell you desire?” The witch cackled as I

swam in clutching my locket in the icy waters. “This is the object of my affections,” I said to the sea witch. She darted toward me and opened the locket with her spindly fingers. “This cannot be!” she gasped. “Sharks and narwhals must not mix!” “But I came all this way,” I said.

“Wait! Did you say narwhals?” I exclaimed with relief. “I’m a shark in love with a penguin! Not a narwhal.” The sea witch looked at the locket again. “You definitely need a clearer picture. Anyway, I suppose a penguin might be ok.” I asked, “So, you can make a love spell for us?”

“I can’t guarantee results, Shark. I only had a one night stand with a penguin, and love was the last thing on our minds….” said the sea witch. “Here you go. I always keep one in my purse for emergencies. Once you drink it—,” she continued, handing me a vial of pink liquid.

I took a look at the pink liquid as the sea witch's words haunted my mind. I handed her a few clams and was on my way. Yes, I would see her again tonight and yes she would drink it, and I was right. She did with vigor. Margaret Howe was her name... how could I ever forget?

When I saw her at the ball, she wore a lovely black gown that seemed to come from the stars. It was easy to add the brew to her drink when she wasn't looking, but I knew that by doing so, I made a fateful choice for both of us. To this day, I still wonder if our love is real.