Byline
Phil Harwell
@philharwell
Bio
A protected landmark with surprisingly clean restrooms
Lifetime
Lines
115
Awards
Earned
18
Member
Since
'22
Awards
Phil's Stories
A tear for Luigi
Barry Gibb paced in BGHQ. “It’s not fair! We, as The Bee Gees, have been saving lives with our music for 50 years now. But those Beach Boys do it once and get all the glory!” Maurice put a hand on his shoulder, saying “take it easy, brother. It’s not about the press.”
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Can’t Stop Smiling
Lucy’s family lived by one rule. NEVER STOP BEING HAPPY.
One Pizza at a Time
They say that hell is other people, which turns out to be literal given the number of people I see below. You can’t see the ground in this valley of Hell because of all the people in it. I sigh and begin hiking down the slope.
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The Creature Beneath the Waves
Decades on the sea had aged the old Captain far more than his actual years. Perhaps if he had taken a job on land it would’t be like this. Except the sea called to him, more importantly the creature beneath the waves would not let him leave.
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Bob and the Tree
Bob fell out of the tree. Bob landed on top of a gum nut and Bob was in pain.
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When the Hammer Misses
Why? Why would he fall for such a scam and want to ruin our marriage? She is not real!
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A Fish’s Dream
The fish had one dream: to make erotic audio.
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The Stranger In The Woods
I can hear twigs snapping and leaves rustling underfoot. Someone or something is following me in this forest. Panic begins to swell and I pick up the pace, I'm running away but from who or what? My foot snags on a tree root and I fall face first. I can taste the dirt and blood.
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Language and Being
I don’t speak English, though it be my only language. I held inside my hell, closed tight and hidden just for me, then my words became a fine spirit of pain distilled. The spoken word of articulated screams. Barely heard when first we speak, words with shadows vaguely heard.
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The Fart and the Furious
Everyone was in shock. They couldn't even gather up their minds after what they have just witnessed
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Of Cats and Shrooms
There is a fungus in the Amazon that changes an ant’s entire personality—before it forces the creature to go rigid and then sends its fruiting body through the paralyzed ant’s head.
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Storm of Introspection
The sound of raindrops on dried leaves was everpresent. Others ran from the bus stop towards home, cursing, hands over their heads, in a futile attempt to not get wet by the sudden storm. I choose to enjoy it, embrace the cold drops on my face. I feel alive. Then thunder cracks.
The Storm
It was a beautiful night; the moon was shining, and the stars were twinkling. In the cold waters we sailed, back and forth we went as the waves tossed us. All the sudden, the crew commanded by our leader seen upcoming gray clouds ahead. I then heard someone shout, "STORM AHEAD!"
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Bread Feud
i exited the dilapidated cabin with a swift yawn, the prickling of the grass on my feet encouraging a small wince. Noah hopped off of a rock ledge, his face painted with a buoyant smile. he waved, and i responded with no words, but rather an offset smile. Noah chirped, “
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Afrika
Začalo strašlivě pršet. Nebe se zatáhlo a lilo jako z konve.
Grayson
She was sitting the kitchen…the tap of water droplets from the sink echoes the hallway…She was waiting for someone or something. So I finally asked her “Mom? Who are we waiting for?” That’s the last time I saw her … I was ten … so what about you Grayson ? How you get to Seattle ?
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Full Moon Blues
It's midnight in the forest. Darkness surrounds me. I hear twigs snapping, leaves rustling. Something is following me. Panic swells as I pick up the pace, I'm running away but from who or what? My foot snags on a tree root and I fall face first. I taste the blood and dirt.
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"Crappy" Pun Games
I woke up again in the middle of the night. It was that nightmare again. I couldn't remember it but every time I wake up at midnight I get the feeling it is because of the same dream. And all I can see in my room with the lights out is that painting... That place...
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Bear Witness: Part III
After a few months, Crisp's cubs became healthier. However, the house we were staying in was getting crowded. "We need to find a new place," I told the woman. She shook her head. "It's too dangerous. The witch may be dead, but the hunters could still be out there."
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The Forest Floor
It's midnight in the forest. Darkness surrounds me. I hear twigs snapping, leaves rustling. Something is following me. Panic swells as I pick up the pace, I'm running away but from who or what? My foot snags on a tree root and I crash to the ground. Blood and dirt fill my mouth.
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Bitter Wishes
My deepest wish is to destroy the entire universe. I wanna destroy the entire universe and recreate it into one where everyone can achieve their wildest dreams. That is the reason why I decided to learn how to create wormholes, to connect other areas of spacetime to change lives.
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The Moon Is Not Enough
Once upon a time there was a fish who wanted to fly to the moon.
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The Streets Will Run Red with Marinara
A long time ago…there lived a chimney sweeper and his family, who ran a not very well-known chimney sweeping business in a very distant and isolated town you probably have not heard of. Now the chimney sweeper and his family have often tried to do their best, as they were poor
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Death and Tartar: Part II
"How do I return to life?" I asked the angel. "There is no way," the angel told me, "you should just live your life in happy bliss as you are expected to." Suddenly, I saw Geovani, prince of the Ta-Ta Tartar Sauce empire, walk towards me. "They have endless tartar sauce here!"
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Catching Climate Criminals by Surprise: Part II
actually a prosecutor with a backbone, ready to surprise arrest them after a decade of evidence-building, preparing to be blackmailed, and getting Glorbinski and Scot Free to let their guards down. Bennie clapped his hands. The partiers all drew their guns. "You're under arrest."
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Catching Climate Criminals by Surprise
I'm a rare prosecutor with a backbone, going after the rich and corrupt who knowingly and openly plotted to destroy the world with climate crime. The temperatures are rising and the wildlife is dying, and those mafia oligarchs continue shattering CO2 records. I'm gonna fight em.
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Down Upside Frown That Turn
.no saying of task unenviable the do to had I so ,(do things these as) hand of out got it eventually but ,charming was it first At .PM and AM both ,ten past half exactly at day every me called She .calling her mind didn’t certainly I but ,number phone my got Amy how sure wasn’t I
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A sturgeon reborn: Part II
As the legendary Phoenix Witch, I traveled across the land, seeking to help those in need with my spells, my flames, and my ocean powers. However, one day I met another witch named Sam. She grew angel wings and told me that she was the Angel Witch, and that she was to defeat me.
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The Secret Weapons’ Archive
Part 38: “The Tofu of Doom” Gerald sat on the hood of his ‘67 GTO and chewed his gum. “I say there, my compadres,” he said. “What say we go to the Asian store and purchase some tofu. I have a serious jones for it.” Little did they know that the store only sold expired tofu, which
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Neptune's Hidden Thief & the Very Distracting Painting
Planet Neptune. A gas giant filled to the brim with gas. Not a single solid landmass to stand on, besides the core. No one would expect a single living thing to be there. That's why it's the perfect hiding spot for a thief like me. I'm a space thief hiding in Neptune. Neat stuff.
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