Physics of Gaming

emily wahl

Sean King

Diana Tobey

Macaroni Dots

Benjamin Chandler

Sam Becker

English

Its eyes were filled with hunger and hatred as I stared into the eyes of the abyss, I could see her eyes illuminating out of the monsters evil snare. "I'll give her back to you, all you have to do is come over here..."My body moves itself without hesitation knowing its a trap.

Suddenly, an overwhelming grip of claw-like pincers grab my waist. Through all the pain and carnage in this journey... I finally knew what I needed to do to get her back to me.

I should have listened to hear when she told me to stop wearing shrimp-scented cologne. I was mad that she tried to control me, but she was trying to prevent me from being eaten by a giant crab. “If I survive this, I owe you an apology!” I said through gritted teeth.

I grabbed a claw full of sea mud and slung it at my gargantuan opponent, whose pointy red shell seemed to tell the tale of many battles, none lost. I was beginning to lose hope when

A green portal opened, and Rick and Morty walked out. “Don’t worry, Diana! We got this freaking jerk man!” Rick pulled out a long wooden stick and poked at the red gargantuan, and it exploded into a blue colored bloody mess!

It was during the cleanup that Diana met Chaz, a street sweeper. He shoveled blue slop, scoured the asphalt, sweaty muscles bulging under his overalls. Diana couldn't resist. "Hey," she said, rolling her fingers over his bicep. Chaz tipped his hat. Their love would become legend.

Dianah Cheats on random dude I guess

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Where am I? Is this a bed I'm lay on? It's cool linen. I don't open my eyes. I recall previous events of the day and days gone by - I feel content. I open my eyes, they're met with sunlight streaming in between gossamer drapes. I hear the sounds of the garden and children playing

“Ring Around the Rosie”. I’m surprised children still play a game from the Middle Ages. Enjoying the breeze from the window, I get up, and attempt to find the bedroom door. But it seems to be missing. How do you lose a door?

I then feel a terrible gut in my stomach, and run over to the bathroom, which doesn’t have a door either! I put my face into the toilet, and throw up

I felt relieved, never eat oysters that doesn’t look fresh…As I was looking at my reflection in the toilet water I finally understood, what if this was a doorway. It was a bold move, but I closed my eyes, put my head inside the toilet and flushed myself.

This Mortal Portal

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Justine Hood

Ben Syverson

It was morning, I was ready for my breakfast. I went to the fridge, got two eggs, some bacon and a slice of bread. I turned on the stove, and just when I was ready to crack one of the eggs I heard a small voice..”DON’T EAT ME!”

I looked around confused and scared because I thought I was in the house alone. I looked down at my hands only to see my almost-cracked egg with a petrified face. I stood there with the strongest dumbfounded look on my face. "I must be trippin', bro." I put the egg on the counter

The egg leapt up to the top of the sugar jar, then yelled. "Hey bro! You know that person in the horror movie who's always actin' dumb? The one you're yelling at to get out of that house? That's you right now, bro!" I gasped, and rubbed my eyes. The egg was just

sitting there judging me. “I’m listening,” I said, picking the egg up and placing it on my shoulder, “walk with me.” The egg and I traded some fast, witty dialogue that would have made Sorkin smile, then clap, then weep with envy. “In any case, we’re going to need alfalfa. Lots.”

They walked some more until they spotted a bunch of alfalfa, sitting on a bunch of dried leaves. “Something doesn’t look right..”, said the egg, with sweat dripping on its eggshell forehead. There seemed to be metal underneath, almost invisible to see under the alfalfa.

The egg bent over and began frantically wiping away the leaves revealing a plaque—HERE LIES THE ORIGINAL OVUM it stated above the year: 1588. "Pepaw!" the time-traveling egg cried as a coconut fell from above pushing its sweaty face to the ground. "I tried," it wept. "I tried."

Shell Shocked

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Logan Pengelly

Lynsie Lucas

LifezVictory

So you heard a HONK when you were
gardening so you look back and see a goose holding a pictureframe and a blanket so you throw the pictureframe over your fence to Astrid Lu

"What is this?!" Astrid calls back to you, but you don't answer. You're gonna give her a minute to remember—and she does.

"Of course," she says, looking into her hand. "It's the world's last Froot Loop." The little pink circle rests in her palm like a sugar-coated ruby. "You know," you say, "I used to think the pink ones were cherry, but the colors don't matter. Every Froot Loop tastes the same."

Her eyes widen, and then she clamps down her fingers, crushing the fruitloop into dust which she allows to trickle through her fingers with a manic, insane grin. "They lied to us," she whispers, voice quivering. "How could they? How could they deceive us so?"

These so-called Fruit Loops are just sweet colorful Cheerios! Look at them, taste them. You know I’m right!

I stared at them, and I couldn’t move.. they looked so menacing, and evil.. I then woke up in a hospital bed, and my mother was crying in a chair by me. “Mom, what happened?!”, I asked, “she’s dead, we’re finally free..”, she looked up at me with tears of joy, and she hugged me..

The cheerio comes full circle

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What will

“Alright team,” the captain said, making it clear with two words that she had elected herself captain and no one else was even close to being in consideration. “We have a lot of work to do. Right now this party barge is neither a party nor a barge.” Elise raised her hand. “Yes?”

"Would you, Captain, call it a soiree canoe? How about a celebration raft? A jamboree kayak? No?" The captain grimaced and said "get the plank!"

The pirates hooted and hollered as the plank was laid, its far end teasing doom. "I don't really have to, do I?" I asked. "Yep," said the Cap'n. "You made 'Oops All Crunchberries', you walk the plank." "But, Cap'n!" I protested, "I'm allergic to shark bites & jellyfish stings!"

“Not my problem, mate!” The Cap’n snickered with a sinister smirk nestled in his disarrayed beard. “Walk the plank… else Jack here ‘ll help ye along!”

“Fuck you.” I said, and i farted out into the sky. “Black magic!!” The Captain scoffed, “shoot him with the cannons!”. I grabbed a green hat out of my ass, and put it on my head! The crocodiles watched in awe, with their jaws wide open.

“I am your lizard king!” I exclaimed and dove into the water, joining my reptile brethren. Before fully submerged I lashed my tongue out, knocking the captain off balance. She grasped futilely toward the plank before falling off the ship into a crowded sea of hungry, sharp maws.

To Those Who Are About to Croc: We Salute You

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Kimberlie Pengelly

Juan Sebastián Escobar

You try to order again and the alien gets mad at you

You start scrolling through your English/Glexnor phrasebook. You try to order a vegetable fritter, but instead you say “hot oily fruit pillows to me eat, please?” The big purple chef blinks all 8 eyes in a row then retreats to the kitchen.

Your mind plays through traumatising results of what this mix up in communication might cause. You knew that eating on an alien planet might not have been the best idea, but you didn't think it could get this bad. You might have to resort to a dine and dash...

All of a sudden, Rick and Morty strut through the two glass doors, and Rick looks at a picture… ITS YOU. Then he scans his eyes around the room, as you duck under the table. Your transformation from eating the Rick and morty McDonald’s alien special meal has been given you really

bad eyesight. What you thought was a McDonalds is actually an abandoned Dairy Queen. Rick & Morty are two stray cats. The meal was truly a McDonald's alien special meal, though, because if it wasn't, you wouldn't have bad eyesight. "You should go to Lens Crafters," says a cat.

"You're probably right," you sigh, squinting at the cat—or is it a slender gopher? Honestly, now you can't trust your ears. The creature has planted the seed of doubt in you and it's growing with every blink.

The entire staff groaned as their boss began shouting orders left and right. “AND DON’T FORGET THE PICKLES THIS TIME!” he bellowed. Would the customer ever be satisfied? Would the staff ever get to take their hard earned break? Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z!!!

Sunny Anomaly

space food

space food: Part II

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Rietje Becker

The walk to grandma’s house seemed longer than usual. She loved the forest, but something about it seemed almost sinister today. She quickened her pace. “Going somewhere special?” A gruff voice asked from the shadows. She turned to see a long hairy face with sharp pointy ears.

“Oh, hi Grandpa”, she said coldly. “Grandma said you aren’t supposed to be within 1000 feet of her, per your restraining order.” Grandpa stepped out from the trees with a duffel bag over his shoulder. “Don’t worry dear, I was just picking up my things... goodbye.”

She knew within 5 minutes he was lying, as she listened to him rustling through drawers and cupboards like a drunk thief. What he was looking for, she couldn’t know, but she knew she was going to get an earful when Grandma got home. She sucked in her breath and headed in...

…to the kitchen. “What you’re looking for is in the shed,” she said. He looked up from the collection of blenders and mixers Grandma kept in the cabinet to the right of the stove. “You’ll find it out there,” she assured him.

“Are you sure?” He asked. “In the shed?” Why would Grandma keep it in there, he wondered. She simply nodded. He strode out the back door and plodded across the lawn toward the shed when a loud bang stopped him in his tracks. Stunned, he spun around and couldn’t believe his eyes.

A giant red and black snake longer and wider than him, slithered away from his hiding spot, and hissed. He could hear words coming out of the snakes mouth, “I have a riddle for you, answer it correctly and you won’t die! Why couldn’t the panda make up its mind?”Answer in comments

The day a snake ate grandpa

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Jordan S

"Well, it's not like any of us have ever been in a life-or-death situation before!" Jane said. Everyone around the table nodded, then looked at me when they noticed I wasn't agreeing.
"Oh, I have," I said. "But this is the first time I've had an audience."

That’s the funny thing about solo cave diving. It makes you feel alive, because no one will know if you die down there. It’s a crazy hobby, but I love it.

It was my grandma who introduced me to it. She used bring me minerals & fossils from the caves for my birthday. When I was old enough we'd explore together, spelunking & diving, swinging our lights through the dark, scaring bats & finding treasures; that is—until she disappeared.

The next time I saw her she appeared on Instagram Live. But it wasn't just any Instagram Live. It was Tory Lanez's Quarantine Radio. Twerking for some dollar bills. That was the grandma I knew and loved.

Then a knock came on the door in the livestream, it was the fbi. They were screaming to open the door and put their hands behind their back, and punching sounds came through the speaker. Tory Lanez then jumped out of his window, and gunshots were heard through the street.

In the days that followed, it came out the cops were actually looking for a drug dealer that had got countless adults in the city addicted to marijuana. Wrong apartment. Tory had nothing to do with it. The cops released a statement that he died from a glass related incident.

FBI:Freaky Bae In (The Hood)

Where am I? Is this a sidewalk I'm lay on? It's cold stone. I can't open my eyes. I try to recall previous events of the day... or of any time - there is nothing. I try my eyes again, they're gritty, salty but I open one. I'm on a sandstone building ledge, high above busy streets

Slowly I open the other eye and carefully pull myself up to a sitting position, my arms propping the weight of my body up. I see the hustle and bustle of the busy streets below me, but hear nothing.

He doesnt feel anything either, and slowly his vision fades away.. and then his form is slowly floated to the top, where god sits on his couch with a newspaper. When the kids body stops, a ding is heard, and god clicks his fingers.

“Hey-ooo Buster, your turn with the Almighty. What have you always wanted to know?” asked Notorious G.O.D. “Yes! Why does anyone have to suffer? If death is part of the plan, why does it hurt so much? Are we alone in the universe?” The big guy sighed. “It’s a mystery, kiddo.”

God - what a jerk

Zoe Becker

Jerry glanced down at the photograph in his hand, then back up again at the woman sitting alone at the back of the cafe.

She was gone, with a puff of dust exploding where she once sat. Jerry then heard a woman’s voice inside of him. “ your dreaming, wake up!”…

All at once a blinding light coursed through the space. Jerry and the woman froze. And then a creature appeared, seemingly from the air itself.

It was a wrangler fish, with kaleidoscope eyes. It slowly opened its mouth, and a long arm protruded out with a blue diamond.

@whatwillmakebethebestforeverxd

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