Star Fox Loves Link

I don't know why my mother hates my boyfriend so. He's whip-smart, handsome to a fault, knows Japanese and English, and will never ever take advantage of me. I mean, really the only thing he hasn't got going on is that he's electronic. Y'see, he's a character from a video game.

His name is Link, and he's just the best. So strong and brave, and handsome too. He doesn't say much, but he doesn't have to - he speaks with his eyes. His fashion sense is a little strange, especially the pointy hats he seems to love. But I don't care, I want to marry my Linky.

But he hasn’t noticed me yet. I watch him from afar, hidden in the shadows of our daily lives, just waiting for the right opportunity.

He was in a limousine, and his butler was driving through the McDonald’s drive through. I was far away, staring at him through a window in the small shop, hiding behind the cash machine. I had my binoculars in hand, and a walkie talkie

"Subject has entered my sight," I said. "Unfortunately, I am unable to get a clear read on the order.

I bite my lip and pull the trigger—frigid orbs of purple plasma fill my field of view. I pray for my target right up until I miss completely. With a mixture of despair and relief I bank left and soar out of this planetary neighborhood. Where I’m going no one will know my failure.