Adventures in the Corn Board

12 December 2021

  • I must’ve hacked into this server a million times as the first step in accessing, well, a million other systems. An open port 22 on an obscure government agency tucked away in an old office building where they know how to send emails about corn and not much more. But this time
    A P avatar
    A P
    5/25 3:18am
    Inactive LAUGH icon2
    @benjaminchandler
    @sambecker
  • I saw something I'd never seen before. A fully functional version of the arcade classic Joust running in my browser window. I enjoyed a few games, wondering if it was the work of a bored grain lobbyist, or a fellow cybernaut.
    Sean K avatar
    Sean K
    5/30 7:22pm
    Inactive HEART icon3
    @ap
    @benjaminchandler
    @sambecker
  • I was 9 years old the last time I'd played Joust. Ned's Pizza had one of those table versions of the game, but I never got far. This time I beat it. Immediately there was a knock at the door. I opened it to see a woman on an ostrich. "Greetings, Joustfigther," she said.
    Benjamin C avatar
    Benjamin C
    6/28 7:27am
    Inactive HEART icon2
    @seanking
    @sambecker
    Inactive SCREAM icon1
    @ap
  • Mounted on my own ostrich, lance in hand, I gave the bird a squeeze causing a single flap to lift me, with a satisfying "SHWAP!", ever so slightly higher than the opposing female ostrich jockey. The tip of my lance engaged her, immediately transforming her into a floating egg
    zeej Q avatar
    zeej Q
    7/9 3:58pm
    Inactive HEART icon1
    @sambecker
    Inactive LAUGH icon1
    @ap
    Inactive HEART_ARROW icon1
    @benjaminchandler
  • The egg flew me over the beautiful sea, and as I looked down, I saw dolphins with princess crowns jump over and over. I then heard a engine rumble cough, and smelled gas from far behind,
    Macaroni D avatar
    Macaroni D
    7/10 12:17pm
    Inactive HEART icon2
    @benjaminchandler
    @sambecker
  • Coronated dolphins? What had I eaten last night? A spritz of water indicated this was real and not the double enchilada from Chili’s. A boat quickly approached. I remembered the object in my pocket and threw it in the air, creating a fog storm, allowing us a passage to safety.
    Rietje B avatar
    Rietje B
    12/11 12:29am
    Inactive OMG icon1
    @benjaminchandler

The End