Real love is flying a box of Costco croissants halfway across the country for someone.

She kept her 3 favorite things lined up on the shelf above her bed - but as she looked at them now, she realized one was missing.

The cliff rose up, forbidding and brutal, and it was as if it had been waiting for me.

He was a man of many words - except for this time.

Barry Gibb paced in BGHQ. “It’s not fair! We, as The Bee Gees, have been saving lives with our music for 50 years now. But those Beach Boys do it once and get all the glory!” Maurice put a hand on his shoulder, saying “take it easy, brother. It’s not about the press.”

I was going to change the world. My whole life I've felt like a powerless cog in this mess that passes as society. But all that changed the day I was visited by an demon. He offered me one wish, in exchange for my soul. I knew what I wanted. The power to turn water to ketchup.

The whole family gathered around the fire for our seasonal burning of dried cornstalk. While my brothers and sisters were captivated by the swirling glow, my eyes were captured by the sky. Beyond the field of golden rye, a buzzard circled the pasture.

Once upon a time, there lived a wizard called Brian. Brian liked to practice magic and invent new spells to test on his passionless wife, Kathleen. One spring day, he had his greatest idea yet, a love spell.

They say that hell is other people, which turns out to be literal given the number of people I see below. You can’t see the ground in this valley of Hell because of all the people in it. I sigh and begin hiking down the slope.

All the Maynards were home for the holidays. Four generations and not a spare room in the house. While everyone settled in, Abraham, the patriarch, was in the kitchen making his famous dish: Driftwood Delight.

They can do anything that they want. They didn’t want to pry into it but they owned the phone. They wanted to set it back to manual setting.

The endlessly flowing wine and tasty crudités were exceptional, but the finest thing about that evening was that none of the guests knew I was the killer.

Antarctica. That’s where I’ll find love?

An F? How could have have gotten an F on her assignment. Amy went to Professor Barnes after class to get an explanation. The professor sighed & said, "Miss Porter, you were to write an essay about the fall of the Olmec Empire. You gave me erotica featuring characters from Monk."

Reid walked through the doors of the official Coachella Tragedy Memorial. As she snuck into the restaurant, getting past the workers, she felt no remorse. Instead, she programmed the speakers to play the music that, 7 years ago, hijacked some people’s heads. This piece? It made

15-year-old Gracie Thatcher was drinking coffee at Mom 'n 'Em Cafe. As she sipped smoothly and carefully to avoid burning her mouth, she heard the bell ring and footsteps came over to her spot.

Your head keeps aching, you’re 28 and an estranged lover who has had his drinks spiked and has been stabbed with EpiPens (both times at the movie theater!), personally attacked by your phone, a- Wait! Wait! No, no, no! You’re a writer who writes dumb phone stories on the internet

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are not here to entertain you. We will not banter or strut or preen or flirt. We will do one thing and one thing only. We will rearrange your brains via your eardrums. One, two, three, four!" Then a wall of sound crashed onto the crowd.

The party ship crashed into the planet of no parties. Miraculously, all of the inhabitants of the party ship survived, thanks to their ginormous automatic airbag system they invented prior to losing their minds to the booze. When they walked out they decided to throw a new party.

The office break room was more crowded than usual. Molly sidestepped the group of colleagues standing around the water cooler and made her way to the fridge. She searched the fridge for her leftovers in vain. “Hey! Who ate my pasta!” Molly shouted accusingly.

It had been two whole years. Just us. And the bear. Every now and then, she would talk, but she doesn't talk that often. The bear's name is Crisp. We do small little things to keep strange animals in the forest safe. "There is a big problem." She said one day. "Hm?" I asked "Well

hello I am Toastbee. I want you to write about yourself

“I’m telling you, that’s the animal that hurt me!” Cody gestured at the unassuming beast across the lawn. “You think deer don’t have teeth?”

Twas three days till holiday cheer ought to fill the homes of Montblanc villagers. Last year the holiday tree had mysteriously disappeared on Christmas Eve, leading to a long list of draconian restrictions: no early decorations, store music, or candy canes for sale.

I got a sweet new Galaxy phone, with a glittery purple case. It’s got an app that cycles through colors in synch with a beat. I made the beat on my Acid808 app, also on this phone. Hook it up to a projector and sound system and I will rock the house. I’ll be the brightest star.

.no saying of task unenviable the do to had I so ,(do things these as) hand of out got it eventually but ,charming was it first At .PM and AM both ,ten past half exactly at day every me called She .calling her mind didn’t certainly I but ,number phone my got Amy how sure wasn’t I

Part 38: “The Tofu of Doom” Gerald sat on the hood of his ‘67 GTO and chewed his gum. “I say there, my compadres,” he said. “What say we go to the Asian store and purchase some tofu. I have a serious jones for it.” Little did they know that the store only sold expired tofu, which

Regret. He is regretful. At this moment, I regret. He wiped away the tears and leaned close to me. His breath stung my lips as we both sat there waiting for something to happen. “Dylan. I. . .” Before I could do anything more, his lips were softly pressing against mine.

The pilot, tired from his long haul flights, sat at the lobby bar, periodically gazing over at the bartender.

I remember he was here once, I remember a time we'd never bow to TRAITORS I remember a time where those of us who fought the good fight would win and evil would loose but, I remember, was he as good and Heroic as we remember him or were we the true enemies to the el-da-rin people