Ben Syverson

Sean King

Benjamin Chandler

Macaroni Dots

Sam Becker

What will

English

“Alright team,” the captain said, making it clear with two words that she had elected herself captain and no one else was even close to being in consideration. “We have a lot of work to do. Right now this party barge is neither a party nor a barge.” Elise raised her hand. “Yes?”

"Would you, Captain, call it a soiree canoe? How about a celebration raft? A jamboree kayak? No?" The captain grimaced and said "get the plank!"

The pirates hooted and hollered as the plank was laid, its far end teasing doom. "I don't really have to, do I?" I asked. "Yep," said the Cap'n. "You made 'Oops All Crunchberries', you walk the plank." "But, Cap'n!" I protested, "I'm allergic to shark bites & jellyfish stings!"

“Not my problem, mate!” The Cap’n snickered with a sinister smirk nestled in his disarrayed beard. “Walk the plank… else Jack here ‘ll help ye along!”

“Fuck you.” I said, and i farted out into the sky. “Black magic!!” The Captain scoffed, “shoot him with the cannons!”. I grabbed a green hat out of my ass, and put it on my head! The crocodiles watched in awe, with their jaws wide open.

“I am your lizard king!” I exclaimed and dove into the water, joining my reptile brethren. Before fully submerged I lashed my tongue out, knocking the captain off balance. She grasped futilely toward the plank before falling off the ship into a crowded sea of hungry, sharp maws.

To Those Who Are About to Croc: We Salute You

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Rietje Becker

Diana Tobey

The walk to grandma’s house seemed longer than usual. She loved the forest, but something about it seemed almost sinister today. She quickened her pace. “Going somewhere special?” A gruff voice asked from the shadows. She turned to see a long hairy face with sharp pointy ears.

“Oh, hi Grandpa”, she said coldly. “Grandma said you aren’t supposed to be within 1000 feet of her, per your restraining order.” Grandpa stepped out from the trees with a duffel bag over his shoulder. “Don’t worry dear, I was just picking up my things... goodbye.”

She knew within 5 minutes he was lying, as she listened to him rustling through drawers and cupboards like a drunk thief. What he was looking for, she couldn’t know, but she knew she was going to get an earful when Grandma got home. She sucked in her breath and headed in...

…to the kitchen. “What you’re looking for is in the shed,” she said. He looked up from the collection of blenders and mixers Grandma kept in the cabinet to the right of the stove. “You’ll find it out there,” she assured him.

“Are you sure?” He asked. “In the shed?” Why would Grandma keep it in there, he wondered. She simply nodded. He strode out the back door and plodded across the lawn toward the shed when a loud bang stopped him in his tracks. Stunned, he spun around and couldn’t believe his eyes.

A giant red and black snake longer and wider than him, slithered away from his hiding spot, and hissed. He could hear words coming out of the snakes mouth, “I have a riddle for you, answer it correctly and you won’t die! Why couldn’t the panda make up its mind?”Answer in comments

The day a snake ate grandpa

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Where am I? Is this a sidewalk I'm lay on? It's cold stone. I can't open my eyes. I try to recall previous events of the day... or of any time - there is nothing. I try my eyes again, they're gritty, salty but I open one. I'm on a sandstone building ledge, high above busy streets

Slowly I open the other eye and carefully pull myself up to a sitting position, my arms propping the weight of my body up. I see the hustle and bustle of the busy streets below me, but hear nothing.

He doesnt feel anything either, and slowly his vision fades away.. and then his form is slowly floated to the top, where god sits on his couch with a newspaper. When the kids body stops, a ding is heard, and god clicks his fingers.

“Hey-ooo Buster, your turn with the Almighty. What have you always wanted to know?” asked Notorious G.O.D. “Yes! Why does anyone have to suffer? If death is part of the plan, why does it hurt so much? Are we alone in the universe?” The big guy sighed. “It’s a mystery, kiddo.”

God - what a jerk

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Wish Masterz

bububroady channel

She has always had a fascination in books.They can range anywhere from romance, fantasy and sci-fi.Her favorite genre would have to be sci-fi.Her soft brunette curls falling out of her simple braid as she flips a page.She glances up to see a cat watching her with it's amber eyes.

As she watched its eyes seemed to shift in color. Not possible she thought, and went back to her book. A tale of romance set in a dystopian future, her favorite. The cat walked over and curled up in her lap. It looked so peaceful. Then it looked up and very distinctly said

“Envy me”. The cat smiled as the fire faded. The darkness started to strobe, which made her eyes hurt. She could see visions of a Ferris wheel. It started to spin faster and faster as it went off of the base. She realized that she had forgotten to take her schizophrenia pills.

The cat appeared on her shoulder and whispered in her ear: “you don’t need those silly pills, darling. Now let’s go for a swim!”

A swim, the cat suggested. At this hour? Was that little tabby serious? I said, “I don’t know where my suit is.”

The cat sighed, "You humans are such prudes," then canonballed into the water. "Oh yeah?" I said. I stripped to my skin & jumped in. "Wow!" I said, feeling the water caress my body. "I never felt so free." The cat looked at me. "I meant you could swim with your clothes on, perv."

Catapulting Between Reality and Fantasy

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Zoe Becker

Jerry glanced down at the photograph in his hand, then back up again at the woman sitting alone at the back of the cafe.

Was it really her? After all these years? Jerry ran his fingers through his hair and arose, with every intent to approach her.

All at once a blinding light coursed through the space. Jerry and the woman froze. And then a creature appeared, seemingly from the air itself.

Was it an angel? A demon? The light was too bright… and the piercing noise. Jerry covered his ears and glanced to where the woman previously stood. To his surprise she had disappeared. Poof! Into thin air. The light… the noise… gone, just like the woman.

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