Sam Becker

Sean King

Benjamin Chandler

Emily J

English

The acrylic painting of the English countryside hung crooked above the fireplace mantle. Beautiful, he thought, staring at her unfinished work of art, lost in memories past.

Some thought it odd he chose such a strange work of art to place so prominently in his home. There were large gaps in the sky, and one of the hounds was missing its head. It wasn't the painting so much that he loved but the painter—a woman who left this earth so painfully soon.

“That’s right”, he said, “this unfinished canvas was painted by the late great Annie Lennox!” My eyebrows raised. “The singer? She’s alive and well.”, I replied. “NO! Lies! Liar! You lie!” He shouted.

I tried to find Lennox's Wikipedia page to prove she was still alive, but he was on me before I could finish typing her name. "Keep your head up! Movin' on!" he cried, hammering his fists against my body to the rhythm of "Sweet Dreams". I reached for a tube of cadmium blue and

shakily continued painting. At last I finished, relieved to be free from the torturous repeat of the song. “Aha! A masterpiece! I knew you could be properly motivated.” “Please…” I begged. “Oh no,” he said. “We’ve only just started.” The sounds of the music started up again.

Some of them want to blue you

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Lynsie Lucas

A —

"40 years old and I've never eaten an Oreo!"

"Well, I'm 45 years old and I've never listened to a single song by ABBA." "Well, I'm 51 years old and I've never tasted Pepsi." "Well, I'm 60 years old and I've never seen the movie Shrek 2." Then they all looked at me, waiting to hear what I'd never done.

“I’m 9 and I never met my mother.” The one-uppers all gasp and make sad noises. “I’m clearly the queen of this pity party! Bow before me, peons.”

“Try again, I don’t even have a mother. I was cloned from crime scene DNA.” The one-uppers are quiet.

“Doesn’t have a mother.” I heard one of them repeat and chuckle. Another one whispered trying to mimic my voice, “Cloned from crime scene DNA.” Laughter permeated the air. “Right… you on drugs or something?”

Why couldn’t I accept it? I wasn’t any less than these CSI bozos. Sure, I was immaculately conceived. Parents are overrated anyway. In all likelihood they were jealous of my recent promotion. Perhaps as chief detective I could unravel a truly great mystery: my own origins.

The One Uppers Club & The CSI Kid

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Macaroni Dots

Laurel stomped to the end of the pier and gazed into the murky water. He followed her. “You can’t do that! You just can’t!” A single tear cascaded down her cheek.

"I can too," she said. "Watch me. Gramma said if you cry seven tears into the sea, it will summon a selkie to be your boyfriend." Laurel counted the tears as they rolled from her cheek to chin and dripped into the dark water below the pier. "How do you think she met our grandpa?"

They waited for 5 minutes, and sat on the pier with their feet in the water. Laurel looked at her watch, 8:00 pm. It was almost dinner time, and gramma was making lasagna tonight. Sidney yawned as she stared in to the sea.

“Don’t you find the sea soporific?”, Sidney asked. “Terrific?” Asked Laurel. “No, soporific. The sea makes me sleepy.” “Then you probably shouldn’t swim in it!” Said Laurel.

Sidney’s squinted, her version of laughing, “I think I’d like a Viking funeral.” Laurel sighed, “We…

“…don’t have enough wood. Not to mention, we’re in the middle of a drought. Huge fire risk.” Laurel shook Sidney. “Sorry, you just can’t die now.” Sidney sighed. “Fine, then hurry up and finish saving me so we can get back to work.”

Saving the Selkie

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Diana Tobey

LifezVictory

Michael Stiehl

The squirrels looked different today. The old man should know. He had been watching them for years now. Feeding them corn and seed. They looked different and it didn’t matter if nurse Kate believed him or not when she came around to check on him. The squirrels eyes were glowing.

He looked one of them in the eye and heard a voice say, “It’s time old man. The world is ending, but we have a seat in our spaceship for you.” The old man blinked and looked around to see if anyone else had heard that, but Kate was looking at her phone like usual.

The old man tip-toed closer to them. Those eyes, so mesmerizing. Two of them lead him around a corner. It was huge. Blue lights. They escorted him into the spaceship. “Sit there,” one pointed. It was dark, a chill in the air. The man squinted and saw it. Suddenly, he…

CHITTERED. That’s the only way to describe the sound he made, it was chittering. Then the reached inside his own cheek and pulled out a handful of nuts. “Hungry?” He asked, offering them to me.

Now, I'm a real sucker for nuts, & despite any dread I may have been feeling, I couldn't say no. "Are those cashews?" I asked. The squirrel nodded. "Thanks! What's your name?" I said. "Skrtskrt," he said, "with no vowels. It was my grampa's name." "Nice," I said, munching away.

I never imagine someone could have the same name as my gramps. “Wait a minute!, are you? Gramps?!” I was surprised yet confused… did my grandpa resurrected as a squirrel? “Does this means the world doesn’t end with death?”

“Correct,” the sage squirrel said. “It’s better to think of this as a new beginning—rodents are the future of the universe and you are part of that.” “I’m part squirrel?” I asked. “Think about it,” gramps said. It all made sense now. I stroked my bushy tail and pondered eternity.

Going Nuts

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Rietje Becker

Sunny Anomaly

Zoe Becker

The crab kingdom had existed for hundred of years in the bountiful bay. The water was salty, there was plenty to eat, the crabs scurried and played the days away. Until the event happened and changed everything.

It all began innocently enough with a festival at the neighboring human kingdom. Caravans from far and wide delivered rare delicacies. For reasons still unclear several vats of clotted cream tumbled off the main road and spilled into the crab realm, turning the bay water milky.

The crabs were understandably upset. This milky murkiness in their water was preventing traffic from running smoothly, and forget about their view of Mount Crabsmore. Chad the blue crab had been in a traffic jam for three hours when his wife called with interesting news.

She sounded uncomfortable as she told him that there was a new visitor there to see him, and that he should please get home as soon as possible. Chad the Blue Crab had no friends that he was aware of, and being stuck in traffic like this, he would get him in time… that is, unless

unless… sure enough the traffic jam wasn’t Chad the Blue Crab’s only delay getting home. The longest train in history demanded his attention as it moved in one direction, stopped, and then backed up. Chad shook his head recalling her uneasy voice. New visitor. What awaited him?

Chad had had enough. He needed to get home. He side shuffled back a few feet and then took a running jump over the train. He scuttled all the way home to find a basket on his doorstep. Peeking inside, he discovered a sleeping puppy. I guess this was the new visitor all along.

Hush, Puppy

I woke up at my own funeral—again. This is getting old.

Third time this month I woke up and saw myself lying dead in a coffin before hearing the priest pray over me at my funeral. I felt like I was a soap opera character, apparently getting killed over and over again.

I woke in a panic, then rubbed my face and sighed. Clearly these nightmares have to do with my bad habits. I declared then and there that I would clean up my act. No more

huffin' gas in the shed behind the Shell Station! I quit my job at Shell & decided to clean up my act. It wasn't easy. I found myself smelling all sorts of stuff—Sharpie markers, vents outside the hospital, expired cold cuts. I needed something else to fill the void—but what?

And then I figured it out! Isopropyl alcohol— I could keep cleaning up my act and clean my surroundings. I got a job as a sanitation worker in a lab, spraying and wiping down every surface I could reach. The fumes and the dopamine rush from cleaning worked just as well!

I cleaned until my skin cracked. Until my joints throbbed. Even the meat of my palms ached. But what did I care? I was saved. I spotted my reflection in a nearby monitor—hair in my face, sweat dripping from my brow. Clearly I was only making others clean but that was good enough.

Coming Clean

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Everything was fine until the night a second moon appeared in the sky.

Luna peered out the window. “It’s tonight.” Her voice low. “Second moon,” her eyes gazed at the sight. She felt a chill of the looming darkness in air, despite the brightness of a second moon hanging eerily in the night sky.

The Tattoine reforestation project was going well. Ten years in and they had reclaimed nearly 10% of the desert. Two moons made the night sky too bright for good sleep, though.

Day and night were almost the same in terms of light. I was trying to get some sleep in my space pod, with closed blinds. When I felt a tremor in the ground, It felt almost as an explosion.

My pod flooded with crimson light as a red alert jolted me fully awake. I jumped through the opening hatch & saw Admiral Zyx extinguishing an acrid fire with purple foam. "We've been hit by an asteroid," he said. "Check deck 28 to make sure the Venusian penicillin is intact!"

I saluted, turning 180° and breaking into a run. My plasma grenade rattled as it hit the floor skittering in his direction - a hot blast lifted me off my feet landing me adjacent the lift doors. Scrambling in I hit button 28 and scratched my groin, hopefully for the last time....

Moon #2

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I don't know why my mother hates my boyfriend so. He's whip-smart, handsome to a fault, knows Japanese and English, and will never ever take advantage of me. I mean, really the only thing he hasn't got going on is that he's electronic. Y'see, he's a character from a video game.

His name is Link, and he's just the best. So strong and brave, and handsome too. He doesn't say much, but he doesn't have to - he speaks with his eyes. His fashion sense is a little strange, especially the pointy hats he seems to love. But I don't care, I want to marry my Linky.

But he hasn’t noticed me yet. I watch him from afar, hidden in the shadows of our daily lives, just waiting for the right opportunity.

He was in a limousine, and his butler was driving through the McDonald’s drive through. I was far away, staring at him through a window in the small shop, hiding behind the cash machine. I had my binoculars in hand, and a walkie talkie

"Subject has entered my sight," I said. "Unfortunately, I am unable to get a clear read on the order.

I bite my lip and pull the trigger—frigid orbs of purple plasma fill my field of view. I pray for my target right up until I miss completely. With a mixture of despair and relief I bank left and soar out of this planetary neighborhood. Where I’m going no one will know my failure.

Star Fox Loves Link

Ben Syverson

What will

“Alright team,” the captain said, making it clear with two words that she had elected herself captain and no one else was even close to being in consideration. “We have a lot of work to do. Right now this party barge is neither a party nor a barge.” Elise raised her hand. “Yes?”

"Would you, Captain, call it a soiree canoe? How about a celebration raft? A jamboree kayak? No?" The captain grimaced and said "get the plank!"

The pirates hooted and hollered as the plank was laid, its far end teasing doom. "I don't really have to, do I?" I asked. "Yep," said the Cap'n. "You made 'Oops All Crunchberries', you walk the plank." "But, Cap'n!" I protested, "I'm allergic to shark bites & jellyfish stings!"

“Not my problem, mate!” The Cap’n snickered with a sinister smirk nestled in his disarrayed beard. “Walk the plank… else Jack here ‘ll help ye along!”

“Fuck you.” I said, and i farted out into the sky. “Black magic!!” The Captain scoffed, “shoot him with the cannons!”. I grabbed a green hat out of my ass, and put it on my head! The crocodiles watched in awe, with their jaws wide open.

“I am your lizard king!” I exclaimed and dove into the water, joining my reptile brethren. Before fully submerged I lashed my tongue out, knocking the captain off balance. She grasped futilely toward the plank before falling off the ship into a crowded sea of hungry, sharp maws.

To Those Who Are About to Croc: We Salute You

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Logan Pengelly

The walk to grandma’s house seemed longer than usual. She loved the forest, but something about it seemed almost sinister today. She quickened her pace. “Going somewhere special?” A gruff voice asked from the shadows. She turned to see a long hairy face with sharp pointy ears.

“Oh, hi Grandpa”, she said coldly. “Grandma said you aren’t supposed to be within 1000 feet of her, per your restraining order.” Grandpa stepped out from the trees with a duffel bag over his shoulder. “Don’t worry dear, I was just picking up my things... goodbye.”

She knew within 5 minutes he was lying, as she listened to him rustling through drawers and cupboards like a drunk thief. What he was looking for, she couldn’t know, but she knew she was going to get an earful when Grandma got home. She sucked in her breath and headed in...

…to the kitchen. “What you’re looking for is in the shed,” she said. He looked up from the collection of blenders and mixers Grandma kept in the cabinet to the right of the stove. “You’ll find it out there,” she assured him.

“Are you sure?” He asked. “In the shed?” Why would Grandma keep it in there, he wondered. She simply nodded. He strode out the back door and plodded across the lawn toward the shed when a loud bang stopped him in his tracks. Stunned, he spun around and couldn’t believe his eyes.

A giant red and black snake longer and wider than him, slithered away from his hiding spot, and hissed. He could hear words coming out of the snakes mouth, “I have a riddle for you, answer it correctly and you won’t die! Why couldn’t the panda make up its mind?”Answer in comments

The day a snake ate grandpa

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Where am I? Is this a sidewalk I'm lay on? It's cold stone. I can't open my eyes. I try to recall previous events of the day... or of any time - there is nothing. I try my eyes again, they're gritty, salty but I open one. I'm on a sandstone building ledge, high above busy streets

Slowly I open the other eye and carefully pull myself up to a sitting position, my arms propping the weight of my body up. I see the hustle and bustle of the busy streets below me, but hear nothing.

He doesnt feel anything either, and slowly his vision fades away.. and then his form is slowly floated to the top, where god sits on his couch with a newspaper. When the kids body stops, a ding is heard, and god clicks his fingers.

“Hey-ooo Buster, your turn with the Almighty. What have you always wanted to know?” asked Notorious G.O.D. “Yes! Why does anyone have to suffer? If death is part of the plan, why does it hurt so much? Are we alone in the universe?” The big guy sighed. “It’s a mystery, kiddo.”

God - what a jerk

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Wish Masterz

bububroady channel

She has always had a fascination in books.They can range anywhere from romance, fantasy and sci-fi.Her favorite genre would have to be sci-fi.Her soft brunette curls falling out of her simple braid as she flips a page.She glances up to see a cat watching her with it's amber eyes.

As she watched its eyes seemed to shift in color. Not possible she thought, and went back to her book. A tale of romance set in a dystopian future, her favorite. The cat walked over and curled up in her lap. It looked so peaceful. Then it looked up and very distinctly said

“Envy me”. The cat smiled as the fire faded. The darkness started to strobe, which made her eyes hurt. She could see visions of a Ferris wheel. It started to spin faster and faster as it went off of the base. She realized that she had forgotten to take her schizophrenia pills.

The cat appeared on her shoulder and whispered in her ear: “you don’t need those silly pills, darling. Now let’s go for a swim!”

A swim, the cat suggested. At this hour? Was that little tabby serious? I said, “I don’t know where my suit is.”

The cat sighed, "You humans are such prudes," then canonballed into the water. "Oh yeah?" I said. I stripped to my skin & jumped in. "Wow!" I said, feeling the water caress my body. "I never felt so free." The cat looked at me. "I meant you could swim with your clothes on, perv."

Catapulting Between Reality and Fantasy

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Jerry glanced down at the photograph in his hand, then back up again at the woman sitting alone at the back of the cafe.

Was it really her? After all these years? Jerry ran his fingers through his hair and arose, with every intent to approach her.

All at once a blinding light coursed through the space. Jerry and the woman froze. And then a creature appeared, seemingly from the air itself.

Was it an angel? A demon? The light was too bright… and the piercing noise. Jerry covered his ears and glanced to where the woman previously stood. To his surprise she had disappeared. Poof! Into thin air. The light… the noise… gone, just like the woman.

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