Pedants for Breakfast in the Apocalypse

Well actually, “Apocalypse” in the strict sense refers to—CHOMP

10 July 2021

  • She looked down at the list—half the names had already been crossed off.
    Lynsie L
    6/3 3:28pm
    Inactive QUILL icon1
    @benjaminchandler
  • “Typical”, she said. “You only come to me when the problem is completely out of control!” She started gathering her supplies: an ultraviolet flashlight, a travel chemistry set, a crossbow, and sharpie markers in 5 different colors. “You drive!”
    Sean K
    6/20 1:54am
  • “I don’t have a license” she looked at me with disappointed eyes…”we are in the middle of an apocalyptic caos, do you really think a cop will pull you over and ask for your license?”…three minutes later I was trying to explain that same thing to the cops.
    Z G7/3 7:39pm
    Inactive OMG icon2
    @seanking
    @sambecker
    Inactive LAUGH icon1
    @zeejqooj
  • "This is for speeding," the cop said, handing me a ticket, "I'll look past the," but suddenly his top half was gone, replaced with a line of massive teeth and purple feathers. The head of the T-Rex cocked back and roared. Things had definitely gone from bad to worse.
    Ben S7/3 9:14pm
    Inactive OMG icon1
    @sambecker
    Inactive LAUGH icon3
    @zg
    @zeejqooj
    @lynsielucas
  • "At least this rex has feathers," I said. "Scientifically accurate," added the cop's partner. "Well," I said, "it's possible rexes were too massive to have a heavy coat, like how elephants have hair, but it's too sparse to see—" I didn't get to finish because the T. rex ate me.
    Benjamin C7/4 7:48am
    Inactive HEART icon2
    @sambecker
    @zeejqooj
  • "Well," I thought to myself as I slid, high on adrenaline and semi-mangled with various missing (or nearby) appendages, down the beast's gullet - a sensation not entirely dissimilar to removing a warm snot-marinated wetsuit during a vehicle collision, "I wasn't expecting that"!
    zeej Q
    7/8 6:11pm
    Inactive HEART icon1
    @bensyverson
    Inactive LAUGH icon2
    @bensyverson
    @benjaminchandler
    Inactive QUILL icon2
    @benjaminchandler
    @sambecker

The End