The Special Sauce of Mercy

Sarah & April needed a drummer. Their high school's Battle of the Bands rules clearly stated "No drum machines," which April said was only made so their band, Lonely Horses, couldn't participate. "Frickin' Bobby Stroik," April said. "He's scared of us." Auditions were held in the

lunchroom. Because of budgets cuts Big Mac, the school cook, doubled as the band teacher. Mac, on work release from jail, was a self described music outlaw having fronted a series of hard rock and underground metal band before being locked up by "The Man" for "partying too hard".

It was embarrassing. Big Mac didn't have time to run from the cafeteria to the music hall, regularly showing up to practice still wearing his hairnet. BM clumsily picked up his baton and said, "ok, movement 2, right from the top." But instead of playing, his students all laughed.

He sighed hard, removing his helmet and continuing. “Movement 2,” he said again. But again, his students responded to his command with laughter, though not quite so much the second time. Big Mac put down his baton. “Ok, what seems to be the problem here?”

Someone in the crowd snickered. Big Mac yelled, “You! Quarter Pounder! What is your problem?” “Number- Num- Number Two!” Quarter Pounder stammered, before being joined by the whole crowd into laughter, again. “Bowel movement!” “Taking a poo!” Childish humor stays with us forever.

A booming voice commanded “SILENCE!” They all trembled in fear. Their jokes were meant in jest, but they had angered The Burger King. They’d be begging for the special sauce of his mercy that night.