The Naming of Nuggets

Lois didn't like that her brother named their pet pig "Bacon."

First a cow named “steak,” then a sheep named “lamb chop,” and now this. Lois never understood her brother that well, but this was beyond her. What was his plan, and did it have anything to do with Thanksgiving, which was in two weeks?

As it turns out, her brother’s plan had absolutely nothing to do with Thanksgiving and absolutely everything to do with the fact that at the age of 37, he still couldn’t tell the difference between the animals on the farm. Hence the new hens being named “Nugget 1” and “Nugget 2”.

Yes, but how would he distinguish between “Nugget 1” and “Nugget 2”? Or would he just call them at random? Likewise, he called the pigs “Bacon 1” and “Bacon 2” and the cows “Steak 1” and “Steak 2”.

“Would you like to meet my dogs?” he said. Given his naming system, I didn’t want to know what he’d named them. Some things are better left as mysteries. “No thanks,” I said. “I’m not really a dog person.”