Off The Shelf

Hattie Hodge walked the halls of the storied toy store until she came across a curious shelf just above eye level with an unsettling sign stating, “Igor and Zelda are NOT for sale.” Hattie quickly eyed the shop then reached up.

She felt a sharp pain in her fingers and yanked her hands back. “Excuse me! I think you doll just bit me!” She yelled at the clerk.

“Which finger did it bite?” The clerk asked. “This little finger on my right. It hurts!” “Well last I checked dolls don’t bite. You’re making it up.” “How do you explain this then?” She pointed to a mark on her finger.

The clerk inspected Hattie's finger. It did indeed have a bite mark on it. "Did you bring the doll?" she asked. Hattie's eyes widened. "No, of course not!" she said. "There was no way I could catch it, what with it running around the room, snarling & snapping like a wild badger."

“Well that’s a likely story,” the clerk crossed her arms. Hattie begged. “No, you must believe me! That’s what actually happened! This doll—“ “What’s its name?” “Charlie. It’s a baby doll.” “Is that so? You even named it and everything?” “Charlie bit my finger!”

I showed her the tooth marks on my finger, but no matter what I did, she didn’t believe me. She told me I was wasting her time, and that a bitten finger isn’t a reason to go to the ER, unless the finger had been bitten OFF. “Fine,” I said. “See you when he bites my face off.”