Lincoln in the Beyhive

"Well, you're the last person I ever expected to see here," Abraham Lincoln One said to Abraham Lincoln Two as he casually drew his sword.

Sure, he'd have to defeat the rebellion in the South, but first, Abraham Lincoln One (the original) would have to defeat his own clone. Their swords clashed in the Lincoln Bedroom (then just called the Bedroom).

Lincoln Alpha fenced Lincoln Beta, both careful yet bold, both fighting for his life. Each matching the other, unable to surprise an opponent who was the same person. Both Lincolns’ were tiring when there was a sudden flash of light and a booming noise.

Beyoncé had arrived.

And with her, her entourage. They rushed ahead, cleaning surfaces, looking for threats, talking to bystanders in hushed tones. Once the carpet was unfurled, as it were, Beyoncé waltzed across the threshold.

Beyoncé’s dress was blinding. Glittering sequins cascaded down her shoulders. The cleaners were relieved at having cleared the carpet in time. That is, until they noticed a large wrinkle. It was ten feet ahead and in the direct path of Alfredo, an actor distracted by the vision.

Alfredo's visions came and went, but when they arrived, they were usually prompted by bright flashes: a terrible affliction for a celebrity on the red carpet. His eyes rolled back in his head and he spoke in a language not heard for eons. It was a dire warning.

"This is the final vision you will receive. Heed this warning", a giant ball of fire filled Alfredo's vision. "A meteor is coming, holding a great peril inside, it is not the meteor you need to be afraid of, it is what is inside", a glimpse of a sharp-toothed grin flashes.

Alfredo couldn't sleep that night. Visions of meteors and what impossibilities they could entail clouded his thoughts. Perhaps the meteor would crack open for a Kinder Egg reveal, except in place of delicious treats, hordes of demons and misery. Eventually sleep came.

And in this sleep, perchance did Alfredo dream. A dream of shuffling off mortal coils of fettucine, at which point Alfredo would never be taunted about his name again, and could have all the meteors, demons, and Kinder Eggs that he wanted. Not necessarily in that order, though.