Big Stinky Infodump

The castle was extremely damp. Human feces could be smelled everywhere. A rat scurried away as a feminine shadow approached a wooden door. The woman held her breath.

She grabbed the knob and twisted it, and with a creak the door swung open. Ah, to do one’s business in the privacy of a basement. She lifted up her skirt, pulled down her undergarment and let loose a fiery storm of more feces on the basement floor, fulfiling the Rickian prophecy.

Suddenly, the lights came on, and she heard many voices yell “Surprise!” Although most of them didn’t finish the word. There was a very awkward incredibly long moment as they all looked at her squatting on the dirt floor. Finally she said “give a girl a little privacy, please?”

As the guests abashedly dispersed, they left their gifts on a table in the foyer. When the girl was done with her mud-based ablutions, she opened the gifts alone. Most of the presents seemed to be hints about her hygiene. She got toothbrushes, lady's razors, & shampoo, but 1 gift

had her screaming with joy. She unwrapped it, and sure enough, it was long… and big! Just what she’d always wanted. From then on she mostly stayed in her room with the door locked, only coming out to eat. On one hand her parents were quite worried, but on the other hand, uh well…

…how could you really be worried when your only child attempts reading the biggest book in the world?