Foodie Syndrome

The consequences of family upbringing

26 January 2021

  • ...
    "I believe that your poor-" "Nachos!" "...cousin has caught a-" "Mozzarella, you ignorant fools!" "-very rare disease-" "Kimchi! Creme Brulee!" "-a very severe case-" "Onigiri! Roti! Pad Thai!" "-of constantly spouting international foods. Uncurable, I believe, unfortunately."
    Kara S1/17 2:28am
    Inactive Add comment
    Inactive HEART icon1
    @seanking
    Inactive LAUGH icon2
    @sambecker
    @kwtaylor
  • ...
    “She’s hopeless,” the doctor said, scribbling idly in his journal. My ornery cousin, once again irate, jumped out of her chair. “You, Dr. Fettuccini, are a first rate Tikka Masala,” she exclaimed. “You should be disbarred for gross Chicken Parm negligence! I will see myself out.”
    Sam B
    1/18 6:38am
    Inactive Add comment
    Inactive LAUGH icon1
    @kwtaylor
  • ...
    Our family teaches their children to read exclusively with restaurant delivery menus. No story books, no Sesame Street, just Joe’s Pizza and Golden Dragon. It causes some bloomin’ onion problems for us.
    Sean K
    1/20 3:18am
    Inactive Add comment
    Inactive HEART icon1
    @sambecker
    Inactive LAUGH icon3
    @sambecker
    @jasonwaltersdorff
    @kwtaylor
  • ...
    The kids often anthropomorphize food, leading to embarrassing scenes at dinner parties, wherein the kids enact complex storylines with broccoli florets battling each other from behind mounds of mashed potatoes fashioned into trenches.
    KW T
    1/23 9:56pm
    Inactive Add comment
    Inactive HEART icon2
    @seanking
    @sambecker
  • ...
    The parents didn't find this TOO too troubling. It wasn't until they got a call from Mrs. Doyle, the principal of their school. Apparently, using a chicken nugget as ammo for a catapult of carrots was grounds for serious disciplinary action. Suspension even!
    Kathryn D
    1/24 12:23am
    Inactive Add comment
    Inactive HEART icon1
    @sambecker
    Inactive SCREAM icon2
    @sambecker
    @kwtaylor
  • ...
    The parent freaked out after they got a call from the principal.
    Arushi M
    1/24 6:00pm
    Inactive Add comment
    Inactive HEART icon1
    @sambecker
  • ...
    If the authorities get involved this time, and there was no doubt that they would, it was inevitable that this would be the beginning of the end for them all.
    zeej Q1/25 8:52am
    Inactive Add comment
    Inactive HEART icon1
    @sambecker
  • ...
    It would be a lie to say that there weren't times they had wished it all to be over--but not like this. No, they wanted it to be ended on their own terms. The authorities needed to be distracted for as long as possible. And so yeah. That's why we opened this here donut shop.
    Jason O
    1/25 4:50pm
    Inactive Add comment
    Inactive HEART icon1
    @sambecker
    Inactive WREATH icon4
    @seanking
    @sambecker
    @kwtaylor
    @zeejqooj

The End