When Life Gives You Lemons, Harmonize

All Citrus is 50% Off at Guido's House of Fruit & Garden Supplies

15 October 2021

  • Why did you buy so many lemons? I mean, yes, we needed some, but so many? Where are we going to put all these lemons? There's only so many lemonades I can drink in a week. Where did you buy them anyway? A woman in a conversion van with a carpeted interior on the side of the road?
    Benjamin C avatar
    Benjamin C
    9/4 3:22pm
  • “You’re such a Silly Billy! I went to LemonLand, of course. Or was it Citrus World? You know, right off Route 1, next to the place that used to be the Dollar Dump? You loved going there with Gloria’s kids when you were young. What were their names again?”, said your aging Mom.
    Sean K avatar
    Sean K
    9/5 8:45pm
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  • Pippin, Petunia, Polly, Penelope and Joe. Who could forget those names? And obviously it was Berry-Barn she was thinking of. What was happening here? What are the signs of early onset dementia? “Did you get me anything Ma?” I asked, trying to redirect this painful conversation.
    Alex R9/11 3:12am
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  • Ma blinked at me as if trying to process the question. “Of course I got you something.” She paused, searching for the words. “Why else would I go all the way out… there?” It became obvious something was interfering with her memory. “Ma! Did anything abnormal happen to you today?”
    Emily J avatar
    Emily J
    9/14 1:40pm
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  • "Well," said Ma sitting in my womb chair "At my doctor's appointment today I did find out I have a parasitic twin with perfect pitch. Apparently that's how I got that part in Sweeney Todd!"
    Michael S10/4 3:26am
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  • “You see how it works is,” Ma explained. “I lean back, ever so slightly, and the pressure in my throat activates a second set of vocal chords in a different octave. I say ‘demon barber,’ the twin says ‘of Fleet Street!’ I’m what you might call a double threat.”
    Sam B avatar
    Sam B
    10/14 10:44pm
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The End