Chaotic Christmas

It was the night before Christmas and Santa was sitting in his study, checking the list. “What’s this!?There a name in the list that shouldn’t be there!” He said out loud! Then Collywobbles the elf came rushing into the room. “Santa! We have an emergency!”

"What is it now?" Santa groaned, swiveling himself around. "Someone snuck into the control room and messed up all the alternate timelines! Some of the kids that used to be good but aren't now are on the good list and vice versa!" Collywobbles wailed, grasping onto his elf ears as

Marshmallow tears streamed from his elfy eyes as he exclaimed “I’m so sorry I ruined Christmas, Santa! How about you give gifts to all kids, naughty OR nice?”

Santa slowly wiped the gooey white tears from the confused elf. “That’s a quite plan you just proposed,” Santa pondered. “To be honest, I’m not sure it’s feasible. At a minimum, we’d have to augment the sled booster engines, and hire contract reindeer, in terribly short supply.”

As they pondered this plan, a knock at the door was heard. Standing there was a small, stocky reindeer. “I am the answer” he said. Santa looked shocked, how could he possibly know about their dilemma? He let him in. The reindeer, whose name was Ed, pulled out a small briefcase.

“The way I see it,” Ed began, “is you got a motivation problem, not a PR problem. If you can get Dasher in the air, he’ll fly.” Santa stroked his beard. “But he’s...he’s...” Santa winced as he searched for the right words.” “Don’t sugarcoat it, elf,” Ed said brusquely. “He’s been

drunk since 9am. Blitzen dared him to down a whole bottle of slivovitz. Why do you think they call him 'Blitzen', Claus? He's trouble, but we don't have time for that now," Ed snapped. "We need to sober up Dasher. Now my grandfather, rest his soul, had the best hangover cure. You

swallow 3 raw eggs and shvitz for an hour.” Dasher did as he was told and in due time felt good as new. The reindeer huddled one last time before their yearly charge. “We got off to a rocky start, but let’s make this the best Christmas ever,” and into the night they flew.