Click YES to be a Princess

Keisha's mom always left a punny note in her lunch. "Hope your day is GRAPE!" "Have a FLANtastic day!" "You're 1 smart COOKIE!" Keisha would read the notes, smile to herself, then hide them in her pocket, hoping no one would tease her about them. One day she got a note that read

“You are the daughter of a deposed King of a small island nation that isn’t on any maps. The woman you know as ‘mom’ is actually your bodyguard. Do you want to know more? []YES []NO”

I hovered the mouse pointer over YES. I knew better than to click on links in unsolicited emails. But this one maybe had the answers. I’ve felt out of place my whole life. Was my dad really a king? Is my ‘mom’ really my bodyguard? I just had to know. I clicked YES.

My computer flashed white and then red. I had made a terrible mistake. My naiveté regarding emails about Nigerian princes had ruined my day once again.

“SEND 5 NFT’S OF GARFIELD FROM THE 1989 TO 1992 SERIES TO H4CK4LAS4GN@AOL.COM OR THE CONTENTS OF YOUR HARD DRIVE WILL BE LOST 4 EVA!!!¡!” read the highly specific message on my screen. Even now, access to my U2 albums, recipes, and saved GIFs was locked down. I had to act.

I called Eric, the local nerd, and asked him about how to deal with it. “That’s… my email address,” he said sheepishly. “I wrote that virus like 15 years ago. How’d you run across it?” “Gimme back my files. Now.” I demanded. But alas, he couldn’t. All those U2 albums…gone. 4 eva.