Sunny Anomaly

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Sean King

Kara S

Dawn Rasmussen

Sefauna Dunker

Sam Becker

Kim rolled over and snoozed her alarm, even though she knew there was no getting back to sleep. As the comfort of dreams wore off and the reality of her hellish life came flooding back, she bit back tears and tried to focus on the moment. She needed to be at 100% today.

Forcing herself through her routine (shivering in her underwear in the cold kitchen preparing coffee, laying clothes out on the bed, not thinking about him, turning off the AC, unplugging her phone, toothpaste and toothbrush from the cabinet) she made it as far as the shower.

The shower was full of his things. Namely every product Axe makes, in every obnoxious scent. She grabbed a big black plastic bag and swept all his dudesoaps and manditioners into it, to be thrown in the dumpster.

Unfortunately, she had no idea that Axe was actually a secret developer of scent weapons and all their products were ingredients of their finalized product for the government. So once all the dudesaps and manditioners were crushed in the dumpster, a new genocide started occuring.

It was a genocide of the English language - no word was safe from the carnage.

Not even the urban dictionary was safe. It was if we were purposely thrown back into the days of grunts, ugh's, ooh's and ah's. I've seen this before in a movie somewhere called "Idiocracy". Gibberish is the new and politically correct was a crime.

The Axe Conspiracy

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Crystal Kellar

KW Taylor

Rietje Becker

Zoe Becker

Wiping sweat from my forehead, I took a step back to admire my work. The cat house was finally complete, and I couldn’t wait for my fuzzy buddies to enjoy it. There was just one final detail I still needed to add.

But this was a special type of cat house. And the only thing furry there would be the furry handcuffs used to tie up the customers.

Except tonight, when the theme was “Bring Your Kitten” night, and customers looking for something spicy brought friends dressed as small felines.

Damn, I didn't know it was gonna be a furries party, I would of brought ....

my beanie baby collection. They’d really increased in value in recently. And, as every beanie boi knows, the furrier the better. I sprinted home, got on my office chair, and plumbed the top shelf for Gobbles, the plushest of my sweet plushies. “Let’s go,” my turkey whispered.

Gobbles opened its mouth wide enough to swallow me in my chair. Instantly, I opened my eyes to the richest beanie company in the entire world. No one knew it was all mine. That is, until the next minute when I reveal myself to the cameras. I stood up from my chair. Show time.

The Secret Life of the TY CEO

Vicki Finley

Rory Clark

It was a very snowy day, depressing and bleak, when we had our first fateful encounter. His name was Jacob, and he wore a long, black coat which contrasted strikingly against the otherwise white world around us. I asked him what he was doing out in such a terrible storm.

"Adding some balance, I guess, since I'm certainly not blending in," he smiled. He pulled a rope ladder out from the depths of his coat. "Wanna climb a ladder?"

I thought to myself: “I’d rather climb you”, then bit the inside of my cheek. This adventure wasn’t going to start itself. “Sure, I’ll go first, if you can get it up there”. I smirked at him, those cannons of his could toss that rope a long way I guessed.

Just as we hit the summit the clouds gave way to what was to be the most beautiful burst of colors I'd ever seen as the sun set. I took a deep breath in, held it, breathed out and breathed in again. With each breath I felt a release of euphoria of accomplishment.

And then I realized we were on top of Mt. Trashmore.

Upon realizing this, I said to former President Trump, "We did it! We finally got you home safe and sound!", and the world could rest easily again.

Sefauna Dunker
@sefaunadunker

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Sefauna Dunker@sefaunadunker

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