Melancholy & the Infinite Sabness

The Rise of Colonel Mustard

17 February 2022

  • Once upon a time there was a boy named Sab
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    Smitha S
    1/20 2:17am
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  • That’s right, simply Sab. Not short for Sabimer or Sabronius or Sabucillium. His biggest problem was introductions. People always heard his name as “sad”.
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    Sean K
    1/20 4:12am
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  • It was fitting though. With his melancholic ways and show-gazing tendencies, he may as well not correct them, he would often think to himself. But was he truly sad? Or had it been a feeling he inherited after all of those years of people miss-hearing him? Constant disappointment.
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  • Looking at his reflection in the mirror, he asked himself, "What if I go the other way?" His gloomy expression didn't indicate much hope, but he was going to try. The next morning he wore a dazzling blue & green paisley shirt & the brightest yellow pants he had.
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    1/25 7:11am
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  • He looked like the personification of mustard, but it did the trick. The mustard cosplay had boosted his confidence to levels previously unprecedented, and suddenly he was ready to face the day.
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    2/8 8:25am
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  • He power walked into the office, condiment imagery swirling in his mind. “You may have seen me last night battling the likes of May Oh and the dreaded Sir Racha.” Clapping erupted. “But I’m just like you—here to sell hot dogs.” With that he sat down with dignity and got to work.
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    2/15 3:23pm
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The End