Number One

Delaney and her mother left the groomer with a renewed sense of confidence. And with good reason: their show dog, Trudy Jenkins, had never looked better. They spent the entire walk home imagining her future fame. That is, until Trudy’s nemesis leapt out from the bushes.

Fluffy LeBow! Her main show dog competitor. Fluffy is an apricot miniature poodle. She usually placed first. “Shoo dog!” Delaney yelled. Delaney’s mother looked shocked. Fluffy stared down Trudy, raised her leg and peed a straight line on the pavement. Blocking their path.

Trudy was frightened of urine and jumped backward at the sight of her dog show rival wizzing on the sidewalk. Trudy was far too elegant to ever pee in public, much to the chagrin of her owners. She scoffed, and she and her entourage moved on toward the competition.

Once inside Madison Square Garden, she settled for a rank women's bathroom to relieve herself but at least she was peeing indoors.

The bathroom reminded her of her childhood. Those heady days when papa brought her to Jingle Ball and paid for everything, including that N’Sync T shirt she wishes she still had. She sat peeing, wondering where that shirt went... what a loss. Carly would have been so jealous.

And Carly, out in the cold winds of Northern Minnesota, sat on her own latrine, ensconced in the shadows of towering conifers, cupping her wintry breath to stay warm, heartened by the thought that all these years she was secretly partial to the Backstreet Boys.