Horribly Wrong

“At least he won’t wreck anyone else’s marriage. Not now, not ever, “ muttered Albert as he mortared the few remaining bricks into the basement wall. Albert’s wife Ann, tied at the wrists and ankles, cried through the gag in her mouth from the opposite wall where he’d placed her.

It had been harmless at first. Ann had found the personal ad in the back page of the city paper. “Adults Seeking Spanking.” He’d let her go with his blessing. That first night she’d undressed to show him the aftermath of her session. Then they’d made love and it had been great

But Ann changed over the next few weeks. He found her standing in the corner sometimes. Once she very deliberately spilled her drink and refused to clean it up. “I’m naughty!” She said. “You’re 35!” He replied.

Finally, after she scribbled in the heirloom cookbook he inherited from his grandmother, he put her on timeout on a bench in the breezeway. "How long?" she cooed. He'd heard that kids should be on timeout for as many minutes as years old they are, so he set the timer for 35.

On minute three she knew where it had all gone horribly wrong. She never should have rented Eyes Wide Shut. She though it would spice things up but he'd taken it way too far. She hadn't complained about the Jerry Orbach Law & Order role play but this was too much. She had a plan.

DUN-DUN—as the crime drama ended she secretly unlocked her handcuffs. When “Jerry” leaned over she leapt out of bed, bowling him over. “You’re out of order!” he objected. She tossed the sickly roses and sleazy chocolates to the floor. “More like Lard and Odor,” she concluded.