The Power of the Force, Buyers Remorse, & the Ballad of Bella's Tears

21 July 2022

  • Four days until Bella's birthday & Zach still didn't know what to get her. He stood in the Kohl's foyer & took a breath. He would go into the store, eyes closed, take 20 steps, reach out with his left hand, & purchase whatever he first touched. Twenty blind steps later, he held a
    Benjamin C avatarBenjamin C7/17/22 12:15am
  • hand in front of him. Then he felt it. A slight tingling on his fingertips, why it’s… it’s… the Force! He’s felt the Force! Smack! Zach opened his eyes to see a Jedi Master taunting him with a leaf. In a Kohl’s. Four days until Bella’s birthday. Guess he’ll go purchase that leaf.
    Jay K avatarJay K7/17/22 3:30am
    Inactive LAUGH icon1
  • See, it was no ordinary leaf. It was a prank leaf. When her birthday came, Zach tried it on Bella. She was utterly convinced she was a Jedi, then smack! She slapped him in the face, then broke down crying. Not because he did a prank or anything, but because— “The sequels sucked.”
    Jacob S avatarJacob S7/21/22 4:00am
    Inactive LAUGH icon1
  • Sequels, prequels, top of the pops, soul train, solid gold dancers by your side. Of course you lip sync, everyone does. Just remember which song you’re “singing”: The Ballad of Bella’s Tears. The kids love it!
    Sean K avatarSean K7/21/22 10:17am
    Inactive QUILL icon1

The End