Brood Food

"Thank you for dining with us," the waiter said. "Tonight's dinner specials are wild monkfish dipped in chocolate pesto and peanut butter bison bathed in pine needle. For dessert, we have fresh ostrich gelato. Do you have any food allergies we should be aware of?"

She was not used to this type of high-brow dining, so naturally she went with the conservative choice: peanut butter bison, momentarily forgetting about her partner’s peanut allergy. She decided to hold off on the ostrich gelato based on how full she would feel.

Peanut allergies aside, she well knew that bison was a dish best served cold, so she gobbled it up just as quickly as it landed on the table. “For your own safety my dear,” she said, while padding her lips with the oversized napkin made minuscule in the hands of this gorilla.

Eating was the only thing that made her happy these days. That, and her pog collection. It was unconventional, sure, but the joy that came from landing the perfect pog was indescribable.

It was for those reasons and more that she found herself in front of a multi-tiered, red velvet, novelty pog-inspired graduation cake. But who had the slammer?

"I'll take it" she said, thrilled her fancy of a pog-inspired graduation cake would finally become an attainable reality. The price the listed the price as $3575.95. She couldn't believe it! I guess the slammer, was the price. "Do you offer a payment plan?" she asked hopefully.

The sales clerk then cast a half sinister, half hopeful eye at Godfried, her favorite of the eight pugs she was surrogate mother to. “Pog cake for pug pooch. That’s the only payment plan we have.”

She snuggled her puggies close and greedily inhaled their scent. When presented with their pog cake, the pugs did what they knew best: sniffed it warily, then gobbled it whole in a grotesque display. "Yes my pretties, eat your cakes." She smiled. Their pog rule would continue.