Little pumpkins only need a few things. A patch to grow in, a scarecrow to keep them company, and some Halloween candy to eat. They get most of their nutrients from Candy Corn, Mary Janes, Laffy Taffy, and Circus Peanuts.
But once the pumpkins grow big they are taken off the patch and given a face. Each face is supposed to represent their character and will light up the night. For example, this is Willie, he’s a real nice guy. Jack on the other hand wears a grin that sends shivers down your spine.
The Jack-o-lanterns, once carved, are attached to scarecrow bodies. The amalgamations jerk to life & patrol the neighborhood for candy violations. However, after seeing them in action, the Society began questioning their effectiveness. Perhaps kids need this one day to have fun.
So the scarecrows were disassembled & burned, all save one that escaped into the night, hiding from the Society in an old windmill near the state border. How do I know? That scarecrow was me. And here I remain, tending that old mill until the world needs a candy cop again.