Be Your Most Authentic Shrub

When I looked in the mirror I knew the wig wouldn’t fool anyone. I looked at the plethora of makeup products strewn on the counter, the fashion magazines open as guides and sighed. After all the money and time I’d spent it was time to realize I was never going to be able to be

a woman. That’s right. A woman. Why? Because I’m a man. And no amount of makeup, wigs or surgery was ever going to turn me into a woman. I will never pass as a woman. I broke down in tears.

One of my tears dripped on a rose & a fairy emerged. "Why are you crying?" it asked. "I want to be a woman," I said, "they have more fashion choices." The fairy smiled. "That's no problem. All you need is the nectar of a golden plum growing on the oldest tree on the Isle of Aza."

“Aza Isle is 3 day’s sail south-southwest of here. It’s a small island and the oldest tree is easy to find. There are only 12 trees and the oldest one is tallest. The problem is the reef surrounding the island. They call it the Reef of Despair.”

“More like the Reef of Good Hope.” “What was that?” “What, I’m an optimist!” I never let bad things get in my way. “We’re off to Aza Isle, boys, and we’re getting that one tree! What’s the worst that can happen?” Turns out, the worst did happen.

The tree was sentient and sensed them a mile off. Muttering something in its tree-language, it cursed the entire crew, to become trees ourselves, forever growing on our boat, drinking water that would never quench our thirst. From then on, nothing satisfied us except human blood.