Gabberflasted

Story unwritten. The pen rested at the table all alone and the ink bottle was stashed somewhere. The candle has burned out, leaving a small hint of smoke in the air. There was paper in an old wooden cupboard left untouched. The mind was dull, with no new ideas. Maybe it was time?

The wooden cupboard was opened, and a hand grabbed the virgin paper from within. Placed upon the desk, the hand, with one smooth motion, deflowered the paper. A circle formed. Then a five-pointed star. It was, indeed, time. The candle was placed within, live again. “Hear me now…”

"I beseech thee, Lord of Darkness, hear my plea! I come before you on bended knee, humbly seeking your favor. Please, most unholy one, make Pumpkin Spice Season 9 months long! Thank you." Then a burning feather and a lock of hair were doused in the goblet of wine.

The wine swirled round and round in the cup, turning orange and smelling nice, with one hand I picked it up. “That confirms it, pumpkin spice.” I let out a maniacal laugh as a huge crowd of white women burst through the Starbucks door, ‘tis autumn season, forevermore.

Then a band of muggers came in and mugged all the white women and let them know if they continued being white the muggings would continue then the muggers offered the white women free frape whatevers. The white women, the only white people in the place thanked the muggers.

When I first encountered this tale, Reader, I too was gabberflasted. It soured me to frappés & all iced coffee drinks. I was forced to explore other parts of menu & there found the Butterfly Pea Lemonade. It was cute Kylie who served me that 1st lemonade &, Reader, I married her.