He protects me from the nightmares

Death and taxes. The two things in life they say are certain. But there was a third truth they were now confident was an undeniable certainty. This was a terrible plan.

Counting the seconds before their watches struck midnight, two figures, dressed in dark attire, remained pressed up against the wall of the compound. The entrance to the compound was only a dozen meters from them.

The two figures look at each other, both taking a deep breath and giving each other a small nod. They have come this far, they can not stop now; It's now or never.

The two of them steadied themselves, and with a burst of passion erupted into action... WILL OUR HEROES SURVIVE THIS FEROCIOUS ENCOUNTER? WHAT EVIL SCHEMES ARE LURKING FOR THEM IN THE SHADOWS? FIND OUT IN THE NEXT EPSIODE OF 'THRILLING TALES' AFTER A MESSAGE FROM OUR SPONSOR:

"Razer -- Play Hard. Earn Big!" "Now, remember to subscribe, hit that like button, and thanks for the follow! Also make sure to click on those links to our sponsors down below, and if you really want to, feel free to comment amongst yourselves." AND NOW, BACK TO THE SHOW!

A brief sensation of falling, a physical shudder, and your eyes open. It was all a dream? What a cliché! With thoughts of the 9th season of the 80s television show Dallas and an odd compulsion to buy a new gaming mouse floating through your mind, you crawl back to consciousness.

You slothily turn around in the sheets, tucked in your beloved purple-striped pajamas. That dream... You shake your head. You can't afford to linger in bed after what happened last night. You get up and walk to the refrigerator, anxious to face the consequences of your actions.

You put off the mess and choose to open the freezer instead. Ice cream, some old frozen pies, other little tidbits, things that keep you happy. The fridge and the little gremlins living in it can at least give you the courtesy of some 3 AM comfort food.

Karen, the ghost, who only came out at 3am looked disapprovingly as you remove plain vanilla ice cream from the fridge. A sneer that said, "Vanilla? Not Grom Gelato al Pistacchio?". "Can it Karen." you whisper under your breath confident in your decision.

"Fine, can't argue with bad taste," Karen says with a shrug, before floating through the pantry door. As you're scooping ice cream into a bowl, you hear her muffled voice call out. "We're running low on salt, by the way!" "Maybe you shouldn't go through it so fast!" You respond.

Karen looks at you and if looks could kill, you would be dead. "Good morning people!" says Jasper. "How are you doing this fine evening?" "Saved by the bell, as they say!" you say and quickly walk out from the room and down into the basement.

Scurrying down the stairs like a goblin you enter the archive of suburban mundanity that is the basement. A birdhouse, several old bikes, five thousand cardboard boxes full of unknown treasures. You hurry to one corner and begin hunting for the one thing that will fix all this.

Unfolding the many cardboard boxes open, you unceremoniously rummage through their content, tossing them aside, forming a messy pile of "Not it". The basement was already messy when you got here. You chuckle at how it will look by the time you find the Thing you're looking for.

Stapler? No. A long-abandoned Sea Monkeys™ enclosure? Not quite. An old Razer™ gaming mouse with 22 buttons? Not It. Promotional stationery from a pharma company? Definitely not. John Carpenter™'s "The Thing" on VHS? Getting warmer... C'mon, it's gotta be down here somewhere!

And suddenly, your hand finds it. Shuddering from relief, you pull your most precious, prized possession : a 9-inches plastic figurine of Waluigi holding a baguette. With such a gem at your disposal, there's no stopping you!

But... what's there to do? You already have the figurine. You don't need to be stopped, because you no longer want to start. His mustache digs its barbs into your soul, and never lets go.