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Zoey S

Sam Lövstad

Florence From The Stars

Cloé Veilleux

Jade Ludo

Leaf Let

Colleen P

Sam Becker

Quirky Bean

English

Death and taxes. The two things in life they say are certain. But there was a third truth they were now confident was an undeniable certainty. This was a terrible plan.

Counting the seconds before their watches struck midnight, two figures, dressed in dark attire, remained pressed up against the wall of the compound. The entrance to the compound was only a dozen meters from them.

The two figures look at each other, both taking a deep breath and giving each other a small nod. They have come this far, they can not stop now; It's now or never.

The two of them steadied themselves, and with a burst of passion erupted into action...

WILL OUR HEROES SURVIVE THIS FEROCIOUS ENCOUNTER? WHAT EVIL SCHEMES ARE LURKING FOR THEM IN THE SHADOWS? FIND OUT IN THE NEXT EPSIODE OF 'THRILLING TALES' AFTER A MESSAGE FROM OUR SPONSOR:

"Razer -- Play Hard. Earn Big!" "Now, remember to subscribe, hit that like button, and thanks for the follow! Also make sure to click on those links to our sponsors down below, and if you really want to, feel free to comment amongst yourselves."
AND NOW, BACK TO THE SHOW!

A brief sensation of falling, a physical shudder, and your eyes open. It was all a dream? What a cliché! With thoughts of the 9th season of the 80s television show Dallas and an odd compulsion to buy a new gaming mouse floating through your mind, you crawl back to consciousness.

You slothily turn around in the sheets, tucked in your beloved purple-striped pajamas. That dream... 
You shake your head. You can't afford to linger in bed after what happened last night. You get up and walk to the refrigerator, anxious to face the consequences of your actions.

You put off the mess and choose to open the freezer instead. Ice cream, some old frozen pies, other little tidbits, things that keep you happy. The fridge and the little gremlins living in it can at least give you the courtesy of some 3 AM comfort food.

Karen, the ghost, who only came out at 3am looked disapprovingly as you remove plain vanilla ice cream from the fridge. A sneer that said, "Vanilla? Not Grom Gelato al Pistacchio?". 

"Can it Karen." you whisper under your breath confident in your decision.

"Fine, can't argue with bad taste," Karen says with a shrug, before floating through the pantry door. As you're scooping ice cream into a bowl, you hear her muffled voice call out. "We're running low on salt, by the way!"

"Maybe you shouldn't go through it so fast!" You respond.

Karen looks at you and if looks could kill, you would be dead.
"Good morning people!" says Jasper. "How are you doing this fine evening?"
"Saved by the bell, as they say!" you say and quickly walk out from the room and down into the basement.

Scurrying down the stairs like a goblin you enter the archive of suburban mundanity that is the basement. A birdhouse, several old bikes, five thousand cardboard boxes full of unknown treasures. You hurry to one corner and begin hunting for the one thing that will fix all this.

Unfolding the many cardboard boxes open, you unceremoniously rummage through their content, tossing them aside, forming a messy pile of "Not it". The basement was already messy when you got here. You chuckle at how it will look by the time you find the Thing you're looking for.

Stapler? No. 
A long-abandoned Sea Monkeys™ enclosure? Not quite. 
An old Razer™ gaming mouse with 22 buttons? Not It. 
Promotional stationery from a pharma company? Definitely not.
John Carpenter™'s "The Thing" on VHS? Getting warmer...
C'mon, it's gotta be down here somewhere!

And suddenly, your hand finds it. Shuddering from relief, you pull your most precious, prized possession : a 9-inches plastic figurine of Waluigi holding a baguette. With such a gem at your disposal, there's no stopping you!

But... what's there to do? You already have the figurine. You don't need to be stopped, because you no longer want to start. His mustache digs its barbs into your soul, and never lets go.

He protects me from the nightmares

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Schuyler took a deep breath of the crisp New England air, wrapping her fingers around her warm coffee mug. The riot of fall colors was somewhat subdued this early in the morning, and swirls of fog hovered over the surface of the lake. The sun was as-yet merely hinting at rising.

Schuyler was particularly fond of the morning twilight, as it was still somewhat quiet outside with only slight birdsongs in the air. She sipped her coffee and smiled out over the lake, enjoying the cool autumn breeze that tousled her hair.

The day was still so full of possibility. Schuyler looked down and admired the reflection of the trees and the sky swirling in her coffee. She was perfectly at ease when she heard the jarring sounds of a speedboat motor and the clanking of beer cans.

Slurred shouts and curses filled the air as the boat collided with a half-submerged log. Schuyler stifled a laugh as the three men scrambled to inspect the damage. An argument ensued about whether or not the driver saw the log, and whether the owner let him drive again.

“Lissen here, skipper!”, the driver slurred, “I have total control over the vessel because I am the captain of the boat! No log pushed by a secret alligator changes that, buster!” With that said, he collapsed in the captain’s chair and started snoring.

Rather unexpectedly everything continued as normal after this point and, surprisingly, nothing remarkable occurred again. Several weeks later I finally returned home with a holdall over my shoulder, walked straight to my bed and collapsed onto it. Asleep immediately, I dreamt of

cerulean prairies and viridian skies. Towers like ice-carved dragons stretched their necks against the horizon, and stars that were notes of music in an eternal song shone softly. I awoke somewhat perplexed, and lay staring at my ceiling for a time. “Whimsical,” I murmured to it.

A large dildo hit my face as I stared into the void of what I call ‘my bedroom ceiling’.

Although I knew that this was all a long-term simulation, I winced as the dildo dug its talons into my skin and took off, soaring away into the void. What was a bedroom if there was no way to keep out the local wildlife?

At least the view from up here was pleasant. The odd kinks in the trees and the chirps of the fey vibes... How many people could say that their life, real or fake, ended in a nest of hungry, eager nibs of silicone?

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