Contingency Claus

On the night before Christmas, in all the world, millions of Children wait for Santa Claus.

But Christmas came and Santa Claus never arrived. The millions of Children decided to keep waiting in their homes by the Christmas tree till he came. And waited. And waited. And waited until they became Adults. Still no sign of Santa. Their parents were growing concerned.

The psychic trauma of an entire generation denied their Christmas gifts was immense. They never got educations, jobs, homes, spouses. They never had children of their own, and time is running short for them. So what happened to Santa anyway? Not a peep in decades.

Many attempted to find the jolly man, but just as many failed. People began to find this search for him hopeless as the years went by.

Finally, the case went cold, and every holiday song that had the word ‘Santa’ in it, removed the word from their songs as issued by the state. This made all Christmas songs switch to use Mrs Claus, and she took over Christmas too, increasing her popularity. How eerily convenient.