In Honor of Paul Bunyan

Grandpa and I

29 September 2021

  • I sat, bored out of my mind, chewing my pencil. I wished to myself, silently, that it would end. It just seemed to go on forever.
    Enrique A9/6 2:48am
    Inactive HEART icon1
    @sambecker
    Inactive WREATH icon1
    @benjaminchandler
  • Then I thought of my grandpa’s favorite saying: “life is mostly drudgery, so mentally check out whenever you can.” Grandpa was not a happy person. Still, this seemed like a good time to try his advice out.
    Sean K avatar
    Sean K
    9/8 4:03am
    Inactive HEART icon1
    @sambecker
    Inactive QUILL icon1
    @benjaminchandler
  • The police, though, could not be convinced that zoning out while diving an 18-wheeler at 90mph on I-35 was what grandpa meant. I didn't think the accident was such a big deal. The truck only plowed into a giant wooden sculpture of Paul Bunyan. "It's not like anyone died," I said.
    Benjamin C avatar
    Benjamin C
    9/15 10:42am
    Inactive HEART icon1
    @sambecker
    Inactive OMG icon1
    @seanking
  • What I didn’t know: 2 things; Grandpa crashed in Paul Bunyan’s hometown, which was also home of the first logging factory. It was a State law to respect all things wood, ESPECIALLY Statues of their most famous resident. “This constitutes jail time,” said one of the park rangers.
    Alex R9/23 9:15pm
    Inactive HEART icon2
    @benjaminchandler
    @sambecker
  • And second, that Grandpa had crossed the lumberjack Maffia. How was he supposed to know selling off brand flannel shirts from the trunk of his car would cause so much trouble? Finding a plate of flapjacks with "You're Dead" written in maple syrup was the worse day of his life.
    Michael S9/27 8:31pm
    Inactive HEART icon2
    @alexramir
    @benjaminchandler
    Inactive LAUGH icon2
    @sambecker
    @benjaminchandler
    Inactive SCREAM icon2
    @sambecker
    @seanking
  • Grandpa collapsed into his breakfast. He thought of all the mistakes he'd made that led to this moment. As he lifted his head—syrup dripping off his face—he re-committed himself to a life of honor, deciding to personally drive to P. Bunyan's cabin, flannel in tow, to make amends.
    Sam B avatar
    Sam B
    9/28 2:45pm
    Inactive BOMB icon1
    @seanking
    Inactive QUILL icon1
    @benjaminchandler

The End