Slaughter Melon

A Tale of Seedy Tragedy

15 July 2022

  • There was a cold breeze blowing. She walked along the pier on her way back to his house in the twilight. A fear of the unknown ran through her veins, her stomach was uneasy. She leaned down as if to throw up.… but her reflection made her snap out of it. She looked so tired.
    Ashley S7/2 1:25am
    Inactive QUILL icon2
    @benjaminchandler
    @sambecker
  • She look so, so pregnant. Why had she said yes to the free booze. She took a long sip of the metallic water and wondered how Beverly had manages to impregnate someone so naive.
    Paul+ S7/2 1:35am
    Inactive OMG icon1
    @benjaminchandler
  • That’s when she lifted her maternity blouse to reveal a watermelon strapped to her stomach. Fresh fruit, smuggled in! Now to find a knife.
    Sean K avatarSean K7/2 4:50am
    Inactive SCREAM icon1
    @benjaminchandler
  • She took one from Caesar’s body, conveniently placed on the floor, then began to slash the watermelon under her blouse, performing the world’s first “Caesarian”. “Blood” flowed out from her stomach. Turns out, this was the first instance of “Sudoku” as well. The audience clapped.
    Jay K avatarJay K7/2 10:20am
    Inactive OMG icon1
    @benjaminchandler
    Inactive BOMB icon1
    @seanking
    Inactive LAUGH icon1
    @seanking
    Inactive SCREAM icon1
    @seanking
  • "Sudoku? The math game?" one observer shouted. "Don't you mean seppuku? Hara-kiri?" "Harry Caray?" another shouted, "The longtime Chicago sportscaster? Holy cow!" "Cubs win!" another person cried. The woman with the knife & watermelon had lost everyone's attention. What to do?
    Benjamin C avatarBenjamin C7/8 11:58pm
    Inactive BOMB icon1
    @seanking
    Inactive LAUGH icon1
    @seanking
  • She decided to set up shop right then and there — two pieces of fried chicken, alongside a slice of watermelon, and all for $1.99! The crowd quickly forgot about the Cubs and rushed to be first in line. That was when on April 15, 1989, the infamous Hillsborough disaster occurred.
    Jacob S avatarJacob S7/13 2:46pm
    Inactive SCREAM icon1
    @benjaminchandler
    Inactive MAGIC icon1
    @seanking

The End