The Ballad of King Markie

First things first. If you are reading this without fear of being caught, we won. I don't have much time, as I can hear the troops closing in on my position through the echo of the tunnels. We are here today because of a single man's bravery to stand up for what is right.

That man who dared to speak the truth, against all odds, who just may have saved us all, is our hero. He is Marcel Theo Hall. You likely know him by his stage name: Biz Markie.

Biz, as he’s known to his friends, had an undeniable urge to the speak the truth. And his delivery flowed musically. In the face of contrarians he would drop his beats of candor, and obliterate any debate. This came particularly in handy the night of the candy cane riots.

Biz was just walking by when one of the candy canes dragged him somewhere. Before he knew it, he was being forced to be their spokesperson against the sugarplums on who should be the Christmas treat. He cleared his throat and said, "Well, it's not like sugarplums are well known

in these parts,” said Biz to the menacing candy cane. “I don’t care,” said the giant dessert. “You will do our bidding against the unjust sugarplum regime or else!” With that the cane handed Biz a red and white gavel and a regal gingerbread crown.

Was this Biz’s destiny, then, to preside over the Candy Court? “Am I the monarch or the judge?” Biz asked. The candy cane tipped its crook, which Biz interpreted as a shrug. “Both?” the cane suggested, somewhat hesitantly. It didn’t seem menacing anymore, so Biz put on the crown.