Rabbit in the Rough

Ted walked briskly out of the sporting good store, out of the breath and deeply humiliated. He knew going in that he would never be a great golfer but what happened in there was ridiculous.

The sign at the store had said ALL GOLFERS WELCOME. All you had to do was put the ball in the hole to win a free hat. Ted stepped up, confident that his weekly games of mini golf would work in his favor. He hit the ball, but instead of the hole the ball hit an unexpected target.

It hit somebodys father in the head

The kids looked on in horror as his head proceeded to swell up to unbelievable proportions. Within moments, it was the size of a giant beach ball, but then continued to grow until finally his body looked akin to a stick on a giant lollipop and he struggled to keep his balance.

“Okay, this has gone too far,” said Michael, the oldest kid. He was starting to feel rather guilty about the whole situation. But that didn’t stop him from taking a lick of the lollipop head before he shooed the other children out of the room and away from the grim spectacle.

“Dad,” his oldest son Michael said. “You tried your best. Let’s just go home.” Ted looked around the room. How had it come to this? It started innocently enough with a golf club demo and ended with the store pro unconscious on the floor, vomit on his white polo shirt.

While Ted looked for the exit, Michael looked at the pro. His face, or what was left of it, was familiar. Suddenly it came to him. It was Jeff, his sister’s prom date. The prom was to take place in two days. Lauren had been preparing for months. “Dad. We have to leave NOW.”

But he was unable to leave. His foot snd a good portion of his shin was being consumed by an enormous pink bunny with fangs, one that bore a more than passing resemblance to the formerly inanimate and seemingly fangless bunny that had sat passively welcoming golfers to Hole 9.

As the trainee caddie passively looked on, he realized that the course manager's plan to put the bunny on a long term juice cleanse was perhaps a contributing factor to the monstrously unchecked growth of its teeth. But this was a problem well above his pay grade.

Never before had the caddie been so disgusted by a bunny. I mean, a bunny for heaven’s sake. How could a creature so inherently adorable have become so grotesque. He left the golf course and never went back. Ten years later he had become the town’s top dentist.