Grandma Knows What The Rock’s Cooking

My grandmother used to tell me about the days when humans could see in color.

I believed her when I was little, but when I was a teenager I realized Grammy had been telling me fairy tales. The human eye could only see in grayscale - it was scientifically proven. I loved her stories about “colors” though.

Grammy had been ill for years, but had been getting worse in recent weeks. There was longstanding family lore about a red flower whose color was visible only when all viewers truly believed. I knew if I could prove color exists it might just give Grammy the boost she needed.

Grammy also mentioned she loved Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson. But yet, she would always refer to him as Dwayne 'The Cock' Johnson. I wasn't sure what she meant by this but after spending the weekend at the Daytona 500 with him back in 2003, it became clear why she called him that.

It's because he spent the wee hours of the morning crowing at the sunrise. I mean, full-blown, deep-throated, cock-a-doodle-dooing at the sun. "Dwayne, Dwayne!" I approached him one morning, covering my ears. "What's up with the crowing?" Dwayne leveled his eyes at me and said,

“Isn’t it obvious?” Dwayne asked. “We all have our hobbies, our rituals, our dreams. Reasons we get up in the morning. Well, since my hen left me and my chicks flew the coop, this is all I have.” Dwayne wept without losing resolve. “We all go to church; this is how I pray.”