Naughty By Nature

30 June 2025

  • What kid ever received a letter back in return? Sure, lots of us write to Santa Clause every year, but who besides me ever gets a reply?
    12/20/24 10:34pm
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  • That’s how ridiculous my letter to Santa was: he had to write back to tell me to chill out. He was right, of course. What would an 8 year old even do with a speedboat that could change into a dump truck or a helicopter, if such a thing even existed in the first place?
    1/4 5:24pm
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  • My dreams were crushed… or, well, so I thought. From that Christmas onwards I swore to build my own speedboat-dump-truck-helicopter and nobody could stop me. Watch out Santa, here I come.
    1/9 10:45pm
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  • Five years later… The speedboat-dump-truck-helicopter was done. The Speedumpucktoper I called it. Santa had denied me long enough and now…it was payback. I was flying towards the North Pole with warheads ready to fire.
    6/27 3:32am
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  • "Merry Blitzmas!" I cried as I launched rocket after rocket at Santa's workshop. I circled until I saw the ashes blow away. I'd done it. I went home, lit a cigarette, & let the raw smoke fill my lungs. Presently, a voice behind me said, "Seems like someone's on the naughty list."
    6/27 3:44pm
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The End