Naughty By Nature

What kid ever received a letter back in return? Sure, lots of us write to Santa Clause every year, but who besides me ever gets a reply?

That’s how ridiculous my letter to Santa was: he had to write back to tell me to chill out. He was right, of course. What would an 8 year old even do with a speedboat that could change into a dump truck or a helicopter, if such a thing even existed in the first place?

My dreams were crushed… or, well, so I thought. From that Christmas onwards I swore to build my own speedboat-dump-truck-helicopter and nobody could stop me. Watch out Santa, here I come.

Five years later… The speedboat-dump-truck-helicopter was done. The Speedumpucktoper I called it. Santa had denied me long enough and now…it was payback. I was flying towards the North Pole with warheads ready to fire.

"Merry Blitzmas!" I cried as I launched rocket after rocket at Santa's workshop. I circled until I saw the ashes blow away. I'd done it. I went home, lit a cigarette, & let the raw smoke fill my lungs. Presently, a voice behind me said, "Seems like someone's on the naughty list."