Neptune's Hidden Thief & the Very Distracting Painting

Planet Neptune. A gas giant filled to the brim with gas. Not a single solid landmass to stand on, besides the core. No one would expect a single living thing to be there. That's why it's the perfect hiding spot for a thief like me. I'm a space thief hiding in Neptune. Neat stuff.

I’m in a blimp in Neptune’s atmosphere, riding the currents as I wait for the heat to blow over. I have the Mona Lisa in a storage locker and a discreet buyer in the asteroid belt. I just need to wait for the authorities to lose interest.

As I sit and stare at the 3000-year-old painting, I lose myself not in Lisa'a timeless expression, but the background. A flick of paint attracts my eye & I take out my magnifying lens. It's not just a flick, but microwriting. Within the thin layers of dark oil paint are the words

I squinted and read aloud the inscription “Ego vere similis paniculi farti” What could this mean? I pondered for a while, then silently and slowly backed away. All of the sudden a portal opened up and I could see many people on what appeared to be planet Neptune on the other side

of the valley. Then I read the inscription once more. This time it said “Aloe vera similar pancake party.” I read it a few more times, and it changed to something else every single time. Nevermind. Neptune stinks anyway. The Kupier Belt is where the party’s at. The End. For real.