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“Is it possible to determine that we’re not alone out here?” The Scientist asked his coworkers who were talking to him via video call. “It depends what you mean by alone”

“We are all alone, in the sense that all interactions with other beings are filtered through our very faulty consciousness. But in the sense of other intelligent life in the universe, we are not alone AT ALL!”, the scientist exclaimed.

“Why, there is life out there!” the scientist continued, “I know it to be true!” “When you look into the sky, all the stars you see are the stars that existed a few million years ago, right?”I inquired. “Mhm.” “So does that mean that we can see the events of Star Wars right now?”

I ran to the telescope, hoping to see Chewie & 3PO, but instead I saw words. An entire galaxy's stars had been rearranged to spell out in perfect English, "SMOOTH MOVE, EXLAX."

What luck, I thought. I was in the market for this type of product, since most space food lacks fiber. I called the number at the bottom and happily settled into my seat, knowing the long trip ahead would be a more comfortable one.