Ryan Kattner

Schmendrick  

Sean King

Michael Ceraso

Ryan Long

English

It was a sweltering summer day and Roman, furious at his Polish co-worker, decided to take a walk to settle his nerves and hopefully not punch something.

He exited his workplace and was chagrined to see his attractive boss leaning against the side of the building smoking a cigarette. “What’s got you in a tizzy?” She asked, eyebrow raised.

“I’m in a Lizzy tizzy”, he said, dejectedly. “Yeah, she likes to make people feel crazy. I think it’s her hobby”, the boss said. Then she smiled, asking “How about you come over to my place? I have a mini watermelon we can share.”

“Oh, boss, I could’t come over. You’re married! And what would my wife think?” He said, pushing the envelope further to see if she would reveal her intentions. “Oh, that’s totally fine,” she replied, “you and your wife both can come over to enjoy the mini watermelon with us.”

“I told you before” the once timid employee who was backed into a corner and ready to unleash his stern side “No way my wife has a SEVERE melon allergy she’ll be anaphylactic!”
“Fine”Scoffed the boss “I want you then.”
“That means I can’t kiss my wife and I love kissing my wife.”

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