Hypoxia Hang Ten

OK, OK. Deep breath. Take inventory. What do I have? A spacesuit, with enough air for 2 days. A propellant pack. Water and nutrient gel in helmet tubes. A radio link to ground control. What I do not have is an intact spacecraft or a way to safely return to Earth’s surface.

I see good news & bad news. The good news? The view from space is stunning! The bad news? If I die in 2 days, I won't have the record for longest EVA. That's unacceptable. I want that record. Plus that pesky "dying alone, floating in space" thing. Not appealing. So what can I do?

The flotsam of space junk drifts past. Loose bolts, stray wires, bits of broken satellites, astronaut ice cream wrappers. None of it is useful. But then I see it—a surfboard-sized hunk of solar paneling! My thoughts zip to my old "Hang 10" days in Oahu & a plan forms in my mind.

Before I know it, I’m surfing through space on a solar panel. I laugh to myself, wishing the dorks back on earth could see me now… Blissfully riding on cosmic waves of radiation among the stars. I shake my head, reminding myself of the mission at hand.

After all, being a space surfer is cool, but saving the world is the coolest. The best way, I decide, is to attack the enemy ship. Total annihilation. And the best way to achieve that is in their control room.

But when I found the control room and bursted inside, the guy in charge saw my ‘sick waves brig’ tee shirt and was all ‘brooo, you space surf?! We haven’t found anyone else in over 500 parseks who space surfs. Duuude come join us!’ And… just like that… world saved by friendship.